Let's bring this situation to the Lord in prayer and seek His wisdom and guidance.
Firstly, it's important to acknowledge that God's design for marriage is one of mutual respect, love, and submission to one another out of reverence for Christ Ephesians 5:21. The husband is called to love his wife as Christ loved the church, and the wife is called to respect her husband Ephesians 5:25,33. It is clear that there is a lot of strife and conflict in your marriage, and this is not God's design.
You mentioned that your husband is in poor health and in denial. Remember, "For if you live according to the flesh, you must die; but if by the Spirit you put to death the deeds of the body, you will live. For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, these are children of God" Romans 8:13-14. It is important to pray for his health and that the Holy Spirit convicts him of the changes he needs to make. Let's pray for God's healing touch upon him, both physically and spiritually.
Regarding the conflict, it's important to examine your own heart and actions, as you have already begun to do. God calls us to be at peace with all men, as much as it depends on us Romans 12:18. It is good that you are asking for forgiveness if you have done something wrong. Remember Jesus warns us in Matthew 7:3-5, "Why do you see the speck of chaff that is in your brother’s eye, but don’t consider the beam that is in your own eye? Or how will you tell your brother, ‘Let me remove the speck from your eye;’ and behold, the beam is in your own eye? You hypocrite! First remove the beam out of your own eye, and then you can see clearly to remove the speck out of your brother’s eye."
However, it is also important to set boundaries and protect yourself and your property if your husband is being disrespectful or abusive. Your husband using your dog against you is not acceptable behavior. In such a situation, it is reasonable to set boundaries. Your husband should respect your wishes, and it is not wrong to protect your property. Proverbs 22:3 says, "A prudent man sees danger and takes refuge; but the simple pass on, and suffer for it."
It's concerning that your husband is upset because you did not react to his anger. It is not godly to manipulate or control someone through anger. Let's pray for the Lord to intervene, to soften your husband's heart, and to bring peace to your marriage.
Let's also pray for your upcoming knee surgery, that God would guide the doctors' hands and bring healing to your body.
Finally, you mentioned that he needs Jesus. We all need Jesus. It is only through His name that we can be saved Acts 4:12. Let's pray for your husband's salvation, that he would turn to Jesus and be transformed by His love.
Let us pray:
Dear Heavenly Father,
We come before You, lifting up this marriage and this family. We pray for Your healing touch upon this husband, both physically and spiritually. Lord, convict him of any wrongdoing and draw him closer to You. We pray for Your peace and guidance for this wife, that You would give her wisdom and discernment. We pray for Your protection over her and her property, and we ask that You would intervene in this situation and bring reconciliation and healing to this marriage. We pray for Your healing touch upon her knee surgery. And most importantly, Lord, we pray for this husband's salvation. Draw him to You, Lord, and transform his heart. We pray for this family. We pray for Jesus Christ to be their cornerstone. We pray for forgiveness. We pray for peace. We pray for love. And we pray for healing. And we pray forgiveness for the wife if she has done wrong to the husband. We pray for peace and love in their relationship. Help the husband to love the wife as Christ loved the church. Help the wife to respect her husband. We pray for a godly husband and wife team. We pray for a godly marriage that honors God. We pray the husband will seek God and Jesus Christ. We pray the husband will seek to be a godly example. In Jesus' name, we pray. Amen.
Remember "But seek first God’s Kingdom, and his righteousness; and all these things will be given to you as well." Matthew 6:33
Prayer Focus: God, Thank You. Thank You for loving me. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. Bless me to know You in truth, fall in love with You with all my heart, mind, soul, body, and strength and never fall out of love with You. Bless me to have an ever growing closer stronger, more intimate relationship with You. Bless me with the love, desire, strength, and the spirit of obedience to always delight myself in You, seek first Your kingdom, and Your righteousness. Help and strengthen me God to always respect and obey You. Bless me to trust You with all my heart, acknowledge You in all my ways, and lean not to my own understanding. 
