"Does My Prodigal Really Think I Am As Bad As They Are Saying?"
Absolutely not. One of the major tools of the enemy, not only in destroying marriages, but also in hindering their restoration, are the reports spouses give, both to one another, but also to other people as well.
You are not a bad person. If you know Christ as your Lord and Savior or if you have come to have a personal relationship with Him during your standing for marriage restoration, you are, above all else, a forgiven child of God. Charlyne and I pray that you are allowing God to not only polish off the rough edges in your life, but also to do His deep cleansing in your heart. How bad could such an individual be?
Why do we prodigals say such horrible things about the person we married? There are several reasons, but above all else, prodigals who have been taken captive by Satan become his mouthpiece. We are echoing his condemning words.
Consider the POWs who are paraded before the cameras. What are they saying? “Get me out of here?†No, they are repeating the propaganda the enemy has them saying. When people back home hear those words, they know it is the enemy's propaganda. Why then can't we recognize the enemy's propaganda coming from the spouse for whom we stand?
When we were divorced, the other woman in my life referred to Charlyne as, “the wicked witch from Pompano.†Yes, she is from Pompano, but you know enough about her to know that Charlyne is far from wicked and the exact opposite of a witch. Nevertheless, it was not long before I was using the same term. Did I really say, “I need to send the child support check to the wicked witch from Pompano?†Today that seems impossible, but yes, sadly I did.
You have just learned the second reason we prodigals speak such nonsense about our beloved mates. Not only are we mouthpieces for Satan, but we also are saying what that ever-present other person wants to hear. Our unspoken motto in that other home seems to be, “peace at any cost,†even if that involves trashing our covenant spouses. Often we even forsake peace with our spouses for peace with someone else.
Another huge reason we prodigals give such horrible reports on our spouses is to build our own cases and to whitewash over what we have done.
For illustration, let's assume that Jack has been repeatedly unfaithful to his wife, Jill. Somewhere along the way, and out of her hurt, Jill makes the mistake of going to a bar with her girlfriends. Jill realizes her mistake, as the Holy Spirit gets after her sitting in that place and she goes home. In the ensuing battle on the home front, Jack unjustly labels Jill as “unfaithful.†He, the actual unfaithful one, overlooks his own sin to focus on his wife's shortcomings. For years to come, Jack will report on how he divorced his wife because she was “unfaithful.â€
Hey, Jack, buddy! How and when did you meet your second “wife?†Isn't she fearful that you will be up to your old tricks and sooner or later, discover wife number three and dump her? She should be, because the statistics tell us that is what usually happens to prodigals like you, unless you are blessed enough to have a Jill who will not back down in her stand with God for your soul.
The prodigal's report of, “He/she couldn't handle money†usually means “I didn't give him/her enough to live on.†“The house is a pig pen†is Prodigalese for “He/she is living in a dump because I ran off with someone else and that's all my family can afford.†A prodigal report on, “He/she has our kids messed up,†means “I am not doing one thing to help raise them.†If every stander could master the language of Prodigalese, the stands with God would be stronger.
The final reason that prodigals give such bad reports on their mates is attorney-induced. In an effort to win a court case, legal counsel may be planting into your prodigal, not only what to do, but also what to say.
Last night on television we saw a report of two eight-year old boys who had been charged with a serious crime. With their attorney standing in the background, both boys gave identical reports of the incident, even using many of the same words. If their reports were truthful, they are not guilty.
Not only is your prodigal saying things they do not mean, they also mean things they cannot say. Years ago we heard a report from a female stander in a small town that illustrates this so well. The stander and her husband had been divorced for a period of time and he had moved away. They had no children, and there was minimal contact between the two. One day she was getting gas for her car at the service station that she and her husband had always used.
The owner walked over to her car and volunteered, “I saw your husband last week. He asked if you still came in and he asked about your car. He gave me his address and said if you ever had any big repairs, to charge you for something minor and to send him the big bill. Wasn't that nice of him?â€
The stander was shocked! Yes, that was nice of a prodigal husband, but it was even nicer that the God who loved that woman so much caused this all to happen, right down to a service station owner who could not keep a secret.
I know that you are being bombarded with evil talk coming from the far country. May you discern where that nonsense is originating and that the person speaking, your mate, is only the messenger. I also know that we have a God who loves us, and He will send His messenger with a word to encourage you, just when you need it most. May you always be looking for the good word from above and receive it as a promise along the way to marriage restoration.
Wisdom will save you from the ways of wicked men, from men whose words are perverse, who leave the straight paths to walk in dark ways, who delight in doing wrong and rejoice in the perverseness of evil, whose paths are crooked and who are devious in their ways. It will save you also from the adulteress, from the wayward wife with her seductive words, who has left the partner of her youth and ignored the covenant she made before God. Proverbs 2:12-17
Because He lives,
Bob Steinkamp
Rejoice Marriage Ministries, Inc.
Absolutely not. One of the major tools of the enemy, not only in destroying marriages, but also in hindering their restoration, are the reports spouses give, both to one another, but also to other people as well.
You are not a bad person. If you know Christ as your Lord and Savior or if you have come to have a personal relationship with Him during your standing for marriage restoration, you are, above all else, a forgiven child of God. Charlyne and I pray that you are allowing God to not only polish off the rough edges in your life, but also to do His deep cleansing in your heart. How bad could such an individual be?
Why do we prodigals say such horrible things about the person we married? There are several reasons, but above all else, prodigals who have been taken captive by Satan become his mouthpiece. We are echoing his condemning words.
Consider the POWs who are paraded before the cameras. What are they saying? “Get me out of here?†No, they are repeating the propaganda the enemy has them saying. When people back home hear those words, they know it is the enemy's propaganda. Why then can't we recognize the enemy's propaganda coming from the spouse for whom we stand?
When we were divorced, the other woman in my life referred to Charlyne as, “the wicked witch from Pompano.†Yes, she is from Pompano, but you know enough about her to know that Charlyne is far from wicked and the exact opposite of a witch. Nevertheless, it was not long before I was using the same term. Did I really say, “I need to send the child support check to the wicked witch from Pompano?†Today that seems impossible, but yes, sadly I did.
You have just learned the second reason we prodigals speak such nonsense about our beloved mates. Not only are we mouthpieces for Satan, but we also are saying what that ever-present other person wants to hear. Our unspoken motto in that other home seems to be, “peace at any cost,†even if that involves trashing our covenant spouses. Often we even forsake peace with our spouses for peace with someone else.
Another huge reason we prodigals give such horrible reports on our spouses is to build our own cases and to whitewash over what we have done.
For illustration, let's assume that Jack has been repeatedly unfaithful to his wife, Jill. Somewhere along the way, and out of her hurt, Jill makes the mistake of going to a bar with her girlfriends. Jill realizes her mistake, as the Holy Spirit gets after her sitting in that place and she goes home. In the ensuing battle on the home front, Jack unjustly labels Jill as “unfaithful.†He, the actual unfaithful one, overlooks his own sin to focus on his wife's shortcomings. For years to come, Jack will report on how he divorced his wife because she was “unfaithful.â€
Hey, Jack, buddy! How and when did you meet your second “wife?†Isn't she fearful that you will be up to your old tricks and sooner or later, discover wife number three and dump her? She should be, because the statistics tell us that is what usually happens to prodigals like you, unless you are blessed enough to have a Jill who will not back down in her stand with God for your soul.
The prodigal's report of, “He/she couldn't handle money†usually means “I didn't give him/her enough to live on.†“The house is a pig pen†is Prodigalese for “He/she is living in a dump because I ran off with someone else and that's all my family can afford.†A prodigal report on, “He/she has our kids messed up,†means “I am not doing one thing to help raise them.†If every stander could master the language of Prodigalese, the stands with God would be stronger.
The final reason that prodigals give such bad reports on their mates is attorney-induced. In an effort to win a court case, legal counsel may be planting into your prodigal, not only what to do, but also what to say.
Last night on television we saw a report of two eight-year old boys who had been charged with a serious crime. With their attorney standing in the background, both boys gave identical reports of the incident, even using many of the same words. If their reports were truthful, they are not guilty.
Not only is your prodigal saying things they do not mean, they also mean things they cannot say. Years ago we heard a report from a female stander in a small town that illustrates this so well. The stander and her husband had been divorced for a period of time and he had moved away. They had no children, and there was minimal contact between the two. One day she was getting gas for her car at the service station that she and her husband had always used.
The owner walked over to her car and volunteered, “I saw your husband last week. He asked if you still came in and he asked about your car. He gave me his address and said if you ever had any big repairs, to charge you for something minor and to send him the big bill. Wasn't that nice of him?â€
The stander was shocked! Yes, that was nice of a prodigal husband, but it was even nicer that the God who loved that woman so much caused this all to happen, right down to a service station owner who could not keep a secret.
I know that you are being bombarded with evil talk coming from the far country. May you discern where that nonsense is originating and that the person speaking, your mate, is only the messenger. I also know that we have a God who loves us, and He will send His messenger with a word to encourage you, just when you need it most. May you always be looking for the good word from above and receive it as a promise along the way to marriage restoration.
Wisdom will save you from the ways of wicked men, from men whose words are perverse, who leave the straight paths to walk in dark ways, who delight in doing wrong and rejoice in the perverseness of evil, whose paths are crooked and who are devious in their ways. It will save you also from the adulteress, from the wayward wife with her seductive words, who has left the partner of her youth and ignored the covenant she made before God. Proverbs 2:12-17
Because He lives,
Bob Steinkamp
Rejoice Marriage Ministries, Inc.
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