"DOES MY PRODIGAL HURT AS MUCH AS I DO?"
This morning I woke up with a backache. Someone awoke with a toothache. We both are hurting right now, but in different ways. That is much the way it is with the pain experienced by standers and prodigals.
Your greatest emotional pain today might be from rejection. Your prodigal’s pain might be caused by guilt or shame. You both may share the common pain of fear of the future.
God designed the family to help care for one another. That other person does not have, nor will they ever have, the unconditional love for your spouse that fills you today. The one you love recognizes the person they are with may bail out when the going gets rough.
The vows of that other person, even though unspoken, may be: “Without God as my witness, I take you as my sinful companion, to temporarily have and to hold from this day, until someone better comes along, for better but not for worse, for richer but not for poorer, not in sickness, only in health, to use and to manipulate, until we are parted by someone else. This is the enemy’s solemn vow.â€
How much peace, love, and joy can your prodigal be experiencing in a relationship with that kind of non-commitment? Your prodigal has the same fear of the future as you. No amount of money can buy the lasting commitment and assurance of the future that can be found in a marriage based on Jesus Christ.
This can be illustrated by a true story of a family I know. The man had a prestigious job with an American company who had assigned him to Italy. While there, he met someone else and left his wife.
The wife’s doorbell rang one day and the other woman introduced herself. “Your husband and his things are out in the car,†the woman reported. “He is seriously sick and needs to go to the hospital. I didn’t sign on for that. Come and get him.â€
Let’s follow an imaginary couple, Jack and Jill, through a typical day. Jill awakens and is immediately reminded by an empty bed of what has happened. Even before getting up, she has prayed to her Lord, asking Him to be with her that day, and to help her stand for Jack for one more day. Immediately, she feels the unexplainable presence of the Lord surround her. A few minutes later, during her devotions, Jill receives a Word from God. The Christian song she hears confirms His promise to her for that day.
Across town, Jack also awakens once again, to the dull thud that it is not Jill lying next to him. He starts his day under his own power alone, bearing the guilt of what he has done. He and the other person welcome the day with a disagreement.
At work, Jill loses an important paper. She often misplaces things these days. She silently prays, asking the Lord to help her. Five minutes later, the paper is in her boss’ hand and she is thanking God for being with her all day long.
Across town, Jack loses an important paper. He misplaces things often these days. He searches and searches, but cannot find it. Five minutes later, his boss is threatening his job.
“Jack, you can’t bring your personal problems to work or it will cost your job.†Jack goes back to work, more distracted than ever, worried about the divorce and supporting the other woman without a job.
That evening, Jill’s house is empty and quiet. She spends her evening with praise music in the background, praying for Jack and reading her Bible. She goes to sleep with a prayer on her heart.
Across town, Jack’s house is empty and quiet. The other woman has demanded a night out “with the girls.†Jack spends his evening worrying if she has found a replacement for him. He and the other woman end the day with a heated disagreement. Jack goes to sleep thinking about how good it was at home, but feeling he can never go back.
Although hurting in different ways, who has the most pain, Jack or Jill? Even though most prodigals display a higher tolerance to pain, the hurt is still present for both Jack and Jill. There will come a day, however, when Jack’s spiritual pain becomes unbearable and another prodigal will start the journey home.
Dear stander, how is your pain threshold today? Do you hurt like Jill but turn to the Great Physician for the pain medication that He can provide? I must warn you that the spiritual pill that He will dispense, every time you ask, is habit forming. Over time, you will find yourself turning to Him more and more. The only side effects are a joyous life and life eternal. There is also a high rate of marriage restoration for those who seek this treatment for their pain.
Are you a Jill, but experiencing the pain of a Jack, attempting to do everything under your own power without calling on God every hour of every day? If so, I have good news. The Great Physician has time to treat you today. Go into His Presence and walk out feeling much better. Remember, the One who wants to treat your pain right now is the Holy Spirit who also treats sick marriages.
“My God sent his angel, and he shut the mouths of the lions. They have not hurt me, because I was found innocent in his sight. Nor have I ever done any wrong before you, O king.â€â€¦â€œHe rescues and he saves; he performs signs and wonders in the heavens and on the earth.†Daniel 6:22, 27
Because He lives,
Bob Steinkamp
Rejoice Marriage Ministries, Inc.
This morning I woke up with a backache. Someone awoke with a toothache. We both are hurting right now, but in different ways. That is much the way it is with the pain experienced by standers and prodigals.
Your greatest emotional pain today might be from rejection. Your prodigal’s pain might be caused by guilt or shame. You both may share the common pain of fear of the future.
God designed the family to help care for one another. That other person does not have, nor will they ever have, the unconditional love for your spouse that fills you today. The one you love recognizes the person they are with may bail out when the going gets rough.
The vows of that other person, even though unspoken, may be: “Without God as my witness, I take you as my sinful companion, to temporarily have and to hold from this day, until someone better comes along, for better but not for worse, for richer but not for poorer, not in sickness, only in health, to use and to manipulate, until we are parted by someone else. This is the enemy’s solemn vow.â€
How much peace, love, and joy can your prodigal be experiencing in a relationship with that kind of non-commitment? Your prodigal has the same fear of the future as you. No amount of money can buy the lasting commitment and assurance of the future that can be found in a marriage based on Jesus Christ.
This can be illustrated by a true story of a family I know. The man had a prestigious job with an American company who had assigned him to Italy. While there, he met someone else and left his wife.
The wife’s doorbell rang one day and the other woman introduced herself. “Your husband and his things are out in the car,†the woman reported. “He is seriously sick and needs to go to the hospital. I didn’t sign on for that. Come and get him.â€
Let’s follow an imaginary couple, Jack and Jill, through a typical day. Jill awakens and is immediately reminded by an empty bed of what has happened. Even before getting up, she has prayed to her Lord, asking Him to be with her that day, and to help her stand for Jack for one more day. Immediately, she feels the unexplainable presence of the Lord surround her. A few minutes later, during her devotions, Jill receives a Word from God. The Christian song she hears confirms His promise to her for that day.
Across town, Jack also awakens once again, to the dull thud that it is not Jill lying next to him. He starts his day under his own power alone, bearing the guilt of what he has done. He and the other person welcome the day with a disagreement.
At work, Jill loses an important paper. She often misplaces things these days. She silently prays, asking the Lord to help her. Five minutes later, the paper is in her boss’ hand and she is thanking God for being with her all day long.
Across town, Jack loses an important paper. He misplaces things often these days. He searches and searches, but cannot find it. Five minutes later, his boss is threatening his job.
“Jack, you can’t bring your personal problems to work or it will cost your job.†Jack goes back to work, more distracted than ever, worried about the divorce and supporting the other woman without a job.
That evening, Jill’s house is empty and quiet. She spends her evening with praise music in the background, praying for Jack and reading her Bible. She goes to sleep with a prayer on her heart.
Across town, Jack’s house is empty and quiet. The other woman has demanded a night out “with the girls.†Jack spends his evening worrying if she has found a replacement for him. He and the other woman end the day with a heated disagreement. Jack goes to sleep thinking about how good it was at home, but feeling he can never go back.
Although hurting in different ways, who has the most pain, Jack or Jill? Even though most prodigals display a higher tolerance to pain, the hurt is still present for both Jack and Jill. There will come a day, however, when Jack’s spiritual pain becomes unbearable and another prodigal will start the journey home.
Dear stander, how is your pain threshold today? Do you hurt like Jill but turn to the Great Physician for the pain medication that He can provide? I must warn you that the spiritual pill that He will dispense, every time you ask, is habit forming. Over time, you will find yourself turning to Him more and more. The only side effects are a joyous life and life eternal. There is also a high rate of marriage restoration for those who seek this treatment for their pain.
Are you a Jill, but experiencing the pain of a Jack, attempting to do everything under your own power without calling on God every hour of every day? If so, I have good news. The Great Physician has time to treat you today. Go into His Presence and walk out feeling much better. Remember, the One who wants to treat your pain right now is the Holy Spirit who also treats sick marriages.
“My God sent his angel, and he shut the mouths of the lions. They have not hurt me, because I was found innocent in his sight. Nor have I ever done any wrong before you, O king.â€â€¦â€œHe rescues and he saves; he performs signs and wonders in the heavens and on the earth.†Daniel 6:22, 27
Because He lives,
Bob Steinkamp
Rejoice Marriage Ministries, Inc.
Let's lift up 
Let's lift up 
Remember to pray for healing for 
