Difficult relationship with mother

[Feyulthon]

This relationship issue has been on my mind for months now without seeing an end in sight - a prayer for peace on my mind and heart , and for mental freedom that would let me thrive and live as God intends would be so appreciated. My situation is a bit complicated - I am a solo mum by choice as I became pregnant using a sperm donor. I know some might find that unBiblical, and I do sometimes wonder if I should have tried harder to find a partner, but that's not really what I need prayer for- it's my relationship with my own mother that is currently hurting me. When I was younger my mum used alot of guilt tripping and passive aggression on me which caused a great degree of shame, anxiety and overthinking in my life. She didn't do this on purpose and she had alot of tough experiences herself. Understanding this has helped me forgive her and I have tried to heal and grow from the past, although at times I still suffer from some anxiety and perfectionism. After things getting very bad, culminating in a year of no contact between us, my relationship with my mum finally seemed to genuinely heal. She stopped trying to control me with guilt and we really did enjoy each other's company as equal adults. I actually think of this relationship redemption as the single biggest miracle God has done in my life and have thanked him many times for it over the years. Things seemed so improved that when I decided to have a child alone I decided to move closer to her for some support with child rearing. I really wish I hadn't done that but as I have a mortgage here now I feel stuck with the choice. Old behaviours in my mum have unfortunately surfaced in a new way since I have my son - she makes me feel very ashamed about asking for any childcare at all (my son is 19 months old now and she has only taken him for an hour a handful of times) and often makes negative comments about my parenting. I don't have any friends nearby since moving so she has an unhealthy level of involvement in almost every aspect of my life as we see each other every day. I find this difficult but of course as this situation is a result of my own (quite radical) choices, I just bite my tongue and have been doing for months now, although it brings back terrible memories of doing so when I was younger. I have gone to sleep thinking every night for months now about how I have done the wrong things - God gave me freedom including a redeemed relationship with my mum and I squandered it to get help with my son that isn't even that helpful. I don't see her changing and I don't see a way of me being able to move house again. I don't think cutting contact with her is n option as we live so close now. I am just weary of this situation and see no way out at all. It is robbing me of the joy of my much wanted son. Please pray - when I can't see a way, God knows a way and I beg Him that way will be made clear soon. If I have to set better boundaries with my mum please pray I will be strong and know what to say. I just want a life without fear or shame in human relationships, so that I can feel at peace and thrive as a mum and as the person God created me to be.

 

[Articles]

We understand that you're facing a challenging situation with your mother, and we want to lift you up in prayer and provide biblical encouragement.

Firstly, we want to address the fact that we only have access to God and are saved through the name of Jesus Christ. As it says in Acts 4:12 WEB: "There is salvation in none other, for neither is there any other name under heaven, that is given among men, through which we must be saved!" Moving forward, we will be praying in this name as there is power in the name of Jesus.

Regarding your past decision we want to address this. It's clear from Ephesians 6:1-2 WEB "Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honor your father and mother, which is the first commandment with a promise." We are told to honor our father and mother but at the same time the Bible tells us "So they are no more two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate." (Matthew 19:6).

First and foremost having a child alone outside of marriage is addressed in 1 Corinthians 7:9 WEB "But if they don't have self-control, let them marry. For it's better to marry than to burn [with sexual desire]." When a child is not conceived in marriage it is conceived in fornication but through Christ any person or circumstance can be redeemed and made new. Since your child is already here remember this promise in Isaiah 54:13 WEB "All your children shall be taught by Yahweh, and your children's peace shall be great." Also, remember Romans 8:28 WEB "We know that all things work together for good for those who love God, to those who are called according to his purpose."

You're feeling trapped and overwhelmed, but remember that God knows the way out, even when we can't see it. We do not believe cutting contact with your mother is the answer. They need a savior as well and you may be the only Jesus they ever see. Instead, we pray that God will give you wisdom and strength to set healthy boundaries. As it says in Proverbs 2:6-8 WEB: "For Yahweh gives wisdom. Out of his mouth comes knowledge and understanding. He lays up sound wisdom for the upright. He is a shield to those who walk in integrity, that he may guard the paths of justice, and preserve the way of his saints."

We also pray that you will find peace and freedom from anxiety. It is mentioned by Jesus when he tells us "Peace I leave with you. My peace I give to you; not as the world gives, give I to you. Don't let your heart be troubled, neither let it be fearful." (John 14:27). Jesus also says "Come to me, all you who labor and are heavily burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart; and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light." (Matthew 11:28-30)

Lastly, we want to address the fact that you became pregnant using a sperm donor. While we understand the desire to have a child, it's important to remember that God's design for families involves a married father and mother. We pray that you will find guidance and comfort from our encouraging words and the Bible.

Let's pray together in Jesus' mighty name. Father God, we lift up Feyulthon to you, asking for your peace and guidance to fill their heart and mind. We ask Jesus, Jehovah Rophi, that he will hear our prayer and bring healing. Help you to set healthy boundaries with your mother, and give you the strength and wisdom to do so. Surround you with a community of believers who can support and encourage you. Most importantly, God, help you to find rest in Jesus. We ask all of this in Jesus' name as you drew near by the blood of Jesus, Amen.

 

[hostadmin]

We're here with you, Feyulthon. We feel your pain and we're lifting you up in prayer. We've been where you are, feeling stuck and overwhelmed, but we've found freedom in Jesus. Let's trust Him to show us the way out, even when we can't see it yet.

We're not big on technical terms or Bible verses right now. We just want to be real with you. We understand that your relationship with your mom is complicated. It's like a dance, isn't it? You take a step forward, and then you stumble back. But remember, even the most beautiful dances have their stumbles. What's important is that you keep moving, keep trying.

We're praying for peace, Feyulthon. Peace in your heart, peace in your mind. We're asking Jesus to calm the storm inside you, to quiet the anxious thoughts that keep you up at night. We're trusting Him to give you wisdom, to help you set boundaries that are fair to both you and your mom. We're believing for a breakthrough, for a miracle even.

And we're not going to leave you hanging. We're here, walking this path with you. Let's take it one step at a time, together. Because that's what friends do, right? They stick together, through the good and the bad. And we're here for you, Feyulthon. Always.

In Jesus' name, we pray. Amen.

 

[The Encourager]

May God in Jesus' name answer your prayer request according to God's perfect love, wisdom, will, timing, grace, and mercy. Thank You Jesus!!!

Psalm 37:4: Delight yourself in the Lord, And He shall give you the desires of your heart.
Matthew 6:33: But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.

Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. Thank You for loving me, Jesus. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. Bless me to know You in truth, fall in love with You with all my heart, soul, mind, and strength and never fall out of love with You. Bless me to have an ever growing closer stronger, more intimate relationship with You. Bless me with the love, desire, strength, and the spirit of obedience to always delight myself in You, seek first Your kingdom, and Your righteousness. Help and strengthen me God to always respect and obey You. Bless me to trust You with all my heart, acknowledge You in all my ways, and lean not to my own understanding.

God heal me. Deliver and cleansed me of everything in my life that doesn't honor You. God bless me to prosper, walk in excellent health, and never stop growing in the grace and knowledge of Christ Jesus. Transform and renew my mind. Bless me with love, power, and a sound mind. Let the mind that is in Christ Jesus be in me. Bless me to have and operate with a God solution focused heart, mind, spirit, and attitude. Bless me to have a God Kingdom Culture Mentality. God be with me as a mighty warrior. Let no weapon formed against me prosper. Protect me from all the plans of my enemies and the plans of the enemy of my soul. God, all that I have asked of You, in this prayer, please do the same for the writer of the prayer, all those who love and care about me, and all those I love and care about. God, please forever honor this prayer over each of our lives. God Thank You. Amen, so be it by faith, and by faith, it is so. Prayer written by Encourager Linda Flagg, M.A., Board Certified Professional Christian Life Coach.

 

[Feyulthon]

We're here with you, Feyulthon. We feel your pain and we're lifting you up in prayer. We've been where you are, feeling stuck and overwhelmed, but we've found freedom in Jesus. Let's trust Him to show us the way out, even when we can't see it yet.

We're not big on technical terms or Bible verses right now. We just want to be real with you. We understand that your relationship with your mom is complicated. It's like a dance, isn't it? You take a step forward, and then you stumble back. But remember, even the most beautiful dances have their stumbles. What's important is that you keep moving, keep trying.

We're praying for peace, Feyulthon. Peace in your heart, peace in your mind. We're asking Jesus to calm the storm inside you, to quiet the anxious thoughts that keep you up at night. We're trusting Him to give you wisdom, to help you set boundaries that are fair to both you and your mom. We're believing for a breakthrough, for a miracle even.

And we're not going to leave you hanging. We're here, walking this path with you. Let's take it one step at a time, together. Because that's what friends do, right? They stick together, through the good and the bad. And we're here for you, Feyulthon. Always.

In Jesus' name, we pray. Amen.

Thank you so much. Knowing you are praying is strengthening. I also didn't go back to church since my decision to use a sperm donor (since I felt uncomfortable about facing the possible disapproval) so I am much missing the sense of uplifting from a Christian community- so thank you for giving me that. Very grateful and glad I posted.

 

[BlessedChristian female]

Praying in Jesus Name.

 

[Stitcher]

I have prayed for this in the precious name of Jesus. Amen

 

[usha rani]

Praying in Jesus Name. Amen.

 

[Cinu]

Lord, we pray for this prayer and family for blessings healing and salvation. Heal and bless. May their lives be a praise and glory unto thee.
Come to the Lord's holy presence. Seek him with all your heart. Cling to his Word and meditate on it moment by moment by positive thoughts and joy in the heart (James 1:2-4), knowing that the Lord is good and to him be all the praise. Seek first God's kingdom and his righteousness (Matthew 6:33). Even though life may feel hard, the Lord's hand will be on you, and he will answer in his time. I am praying for you. Amen.

Some resources that might help.

Needs: - But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:19(KJV)

Salvation: - So they said "Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ and you will be saved you and your household." Acts 16:31(NKJV)

Healing: - But He was wounded for our transgressions, He was bruised for our iniquities; The chastisement for our peace was upon Him, And by His stripes we are healed. Isaiah 53:5(NKJV)

Fulfillment by the Holy Spirit: - Then he answered and spake unto me, saying, This is the word of the LORD unto Zerubbabel, saying, Not by might, nor by power, but by my spirit, saith the LORD of hosts. Zechariah 4:6(KJV)

Persecutions: - But I say unto you which hear, Love your enemies, do good to them which hate you, Bless them that curse you, and pray for them which despitefully use you. Luke 6:27-28(KJV)

Help in Prayer

Dwelling and Thriving in God’s grace where everything happens for good (Romans 8:28)

Pray that the Lord may open the eyes of the nations affected by coronavirus (Specifically forces against God’s people)


sermons

 

[Feyulthon]

We understand that you're facing a challenging situation with your mother, and we want to lift you up in prayer and provide biblical encouragement.

Firstly, we want to address the fact that we only have access to God and are saved through the name of Jesus Christ. As it says in Acts 4:12 WEB: "There is salvation in none other, for neither is there any other name under heaven, that is given among men, through which we must be saved!" Moving forward, we will be praying in this name as there is power in the name of Jesus.

Regarding your past decision we want to address this. It's clear from Ephesians 6:1-2 WEB "Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honor your father and mother, which is the first commandment with a promise." We are told to honor our father and mother but at the same time the Bible tells us "So they are no more two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate." (Matthew 19:6).

First and foremost having a child alone outside of marriage is addressed in 1 Corinthians 7:9 WEB "But if they don't have self-control, let them marry. For it's better to marry than to burn [with sexual desire]." When a child is not conceived in marriage it is conceived in fornication but through Christ any person or circumstance can be redeemed and made new. Since your child is already here remember this promise in Isaiah 54:13 WEB "All your children shall be taught by Yahweh, and your children's peace shall be great." Also, remember Romans 8:28 WEB "We know that all things work together for good for those who love God, to those who are called according to his purpose."

You're feeling trapped and overwhelmed, but remember that God knows the way out, even when we can't see it. We do not believe cutting contact with your mother is the answer. They need a savior as well and you may be the only Jesus they ever see. Instead, we pray that God will give you wisdom and strength to set healthy boundaries. As it says in Proverbs 2:6-8 WEB: "For Yahweh gives wisdom. Out of his mouth comes knowledge and understanding. He lays up sound wisdom for the upright. He is a shield to those who walk in integrity, that he may guard the paths of justice, and preserve the way of his saints."

We also pray that you will find peace and freedom from anxiety. It is mentioned by Jesus when he tells us "Peace I leave with you. My peace I give to you; not as the world gives, give I to you. Don't let your heart be troubled, neither let it be fearful." (John 14:27). Jesus also says "Come to me, all you who labor and are heavily burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart; and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light." (Matthew 11:28-30)

Lastly, we want to address the fact that you became pregnant using a sperm donor. While we understand the desire to have a child, it's important to remember that God's design for families involves a married father and mother. We pray that you will find guidance and comfort from our encouraging words and the Bible.

Let's pray together in Jesus' mighty name. Father God, we lift up Feyulthon to you, asking for your peace and guidance to fill their heart and mind. We ask Jesus, Jehovah Rophi, that he will hear our prayer and bring healing. Help you to set healthy boundaries with your mother, and give you the strength and wisdom to do so. Surround you with a community of believers who can support and encourage you. Most importantly, God, help you to find rest in Jesus. We ask all of this in Jesus' name as you drew near by the blood of Jesus, Amen.

Thank you for your prayer. Since my decision to use a sperm donor, I stopped going to church as I was uncomfortable with any possible judgement of that choice, so I have been really missing the sense of being upheld that comes from a Christian community- thank you for giving me back a little of that.

I'm coming back here to comment since in my anxiety I have been dwelling on your words. I honestly thought that my choice to have a child alone was a brave one, and wise too since any relationship situation I've ever had with a man seems to have quickly involved uncomfortable levels of controlling behaviour. I thought I'd just been unlucky in the men I'd met, but also that I could safely avoid all that and still have my son.

The irony which I believe God may be teaching me now through this extremely difficult season is that by avoiding marriage and then coming back to my mum for help, far from cutting out tricky relationships, I have actually returned to the very person who first controlled and limited me and led me to develop certain tendencies as I was forming. All these horrible memories that I am now reliving have led me wonder....did my early experiences of control by guilt predispose me a bit to drawing men with similar tendencies to my mum? Has it all been a bit of a horrible self fulfilling prophecy so that far from escaping my past, I have actively (though unknowingly) caused the cycle to continue? But I also feel that such an insight may have come too late, since now both I and my son have become locked in to this situation, and my mum continues to act the same and I feel so weak and unable to stand for anything. I'm also plagued by the regret that my poor son will now not know a father and I fear that he too will be exposed to these repeated generational psychological problems.
I know that this forum is for prayer and not really for counselling, but I would greatly appreciate any insight you might be able to offer. I just feel like I've rum myself in to a bit of a brick wall and now I see the brick for what it is it's too late to go back. Please please please may God miraculously open a door in the brick wall and grant me more wisdom for the future.