Let's continue to pray for Smilee's knee, asking Jesus to fill the gap with new bone, removing all pain and discomfort. "I will restore health to you, and your wounds I will heal, declares the Lord" (Jer. 30:17). Trusting God for complete healing and ease in walking. In Jesus' name! 
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In Jesus' Name.
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Scott_123456
Disciple of Prayer
Desperate. In 1998 I was with my dad and grandma in west palm beach. When I left them and was driving back home, all of a sudden something came over me. I began to shake uncontrollably during the drive home. My thoughts were racing and very anxious. I was panicking very badly. I never experienced anything like this before or since. I am not sure what triggered this, but ever since then almost, every single day, I had racing and anxious thoughts to this day. And ever since then that day, my hair started to fall out every day. As I said, I'm not sure what triggered this, but In the years before this happened, I was always very self conscience about my appearance. I was very insecure. I was always looking for the approval of other people and their opinion of me above anything else. I was constantly thinking about gaining weight and getting in shape, especially gaining weight. I was obsessed with it. It dominated my thinking. Another thing that my have contributed to this was the issue with my acne scars on my face. I noticed when I'm calm, you can barely see them. But when I am stressed or didn't get enought sleep, they were very visible and I looked horrible. So when I realized that if I keep calm, the scars don't look so bad. so I started to consiously force myself to keep calm so they won't show up as bad. But this created even more stress, because I was constantly in great fear that if I stressed out, they would show up more. Discovering this fact is what turned my thinking into a tailspin of nonstop racing thoughts of forcing myself to keep calm because of the fear of my acne scars showing on my face. I wish I never discovered this fact, so I wouldn't think about it. But this is not the worst of it. The skin under my right has a problem that was caused by poor sleeping habits when I was a teenager. My right eye is more closed then my left eye. They are not symetrical. So now I notice the same thing about being calm or stressed out. When I'm calm, my eyes look more symetrical...but when I stress out, my right eye closes half way and is about half the size as my left eye. So my eyes are not symetrical. One eye is clearly bigger than the other and obivouslyl, it looks abnormal and very strange. I find it very hard to look at people in the face when my eyes are like this. It's constantly on my mind. I'm constantly thinking.."do my eyes look symetrcial"...."is my right eye too closed". I had people make fun of this fact in the past and obviously it hurt and really escelated my conscience of this. This is what dominates my thinking all the time now...not really my face,,, but just how my right eye closes when I'm stressed caused by the fear of my right eye closing. As a result, from thinking this nonstop loop of racing thoughts, my hair constantly falls out. I'm scared to take a shower, because of the fear of seeing hair that was fallen out in my hand as I wash my hair. Most of the time when I take a shower at nite...I don't turn on the light. I shower in the dark because of the fear of seeing my hair fall out in my hand. This is what happens every single day for the past 22 years. My mind is in a constant loop, of worrying if I'm stressed out, and trying to force myself to be calm, for fear of my right eye closing and my hair falling out. It is a constant, non stop loop. I can't stop it no matter how many times I have tried. Since I lose so much hair. It's all over my floors in my house. This is why I don't want anyone to come inside my house. Because of the hair that's all over the floor. So if they see it, then I would have to explain to them what I"m going through and they wouldn't understand it and they would judge me. I never heard of anyone going though what I'm going through, so I keep it to myself because I know no one would understand what I'm going through if I were to explain it to them. So I try to avoid explaining it to people by not giving them a hint by inviting them in my house to see the hair on my floors. I clean up the hair when I have to, but sometimes I think "what is the point". It's just going to be all over the floor the next day. Years ago..the very few people that I tried to tell what I'm going through, didn't really take me seriously. But it is serious and I cannot fight this battle by myself anymore. The fact that I wasted over 20 years of my life trying to fight this is what brings me to despair. I haven't been able to establish any real relationships. So I keep to myself.
