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peytonsmommy
Guest
My name is Gina. and i feel so alone. i cant even find the words to put into a prayer...for the last 3 years my life has been in ruins. I thought i met my soulmate about 3 years ago and it turned out to be a very abusive relationship. I try not to let my self think about what it did to me but deep inside i know he broke me. somedays the memories ofwhen we were together just run through my mind ALL DAY!I GAVE UP EVERYTHING...i thought thats what love was... i often wondered why god would let me love someone so destructive, why he wouldnt just take all the feelings away. after about a year in the relationship my stress leves got so high that i couldnt eat sleep my hair started to fall out... among many other things he cheated on me and told me i wasnt good enough it still affects my self esteem... one year ago on jan 8 2009 i got pregnant wwith my son.He was born oct 7 2008 He is AMAZING. my world... he melts my heart everytime i look into his eyes think about how this tiny perfect thing grew inside me...He saved me from that relationship...i finally got enough stregnth to walk away for my Son wheni was about 2 months pregnant. I met someone wheni was about 4 months pregnant. it seemed to be sent from god. he seemed to love me and care for me and my child he was at every doc. visit and so supportive all the time. until recently his daughters mother said they have been seeing each other. hes says no way but my heaaart feels hes lying. but i dont know if its because i have trust issues or that its my instinct... i want the best life for my son he always comes first. latley weargue all the tiimei try to pray about it but i feel like its hitting the ceiling and falling back down... i made a promise to god to follow him and his path for my life when i got pregnant... i have always felt like he has a HUGE plan for me... im just stuck and i dont know how to get to where im supposed to be...i just feel so lost. please help me...
Gina
Gina