Turoreg
Disciple of Prayer
Despair/Beyond the point of No return/I won’t let God help me Hey guys, in a desperate situation. I know God, and the truth about God, but I’m lazy and there’s this voice in me telling me I’m going to hell and that I want it and that I’m too weak to get to God or that I’ve already given up and can’t be forgiven because I won’t allow God to forgive me. I suffer from emotional repression, low self esteem, and self deception (the stuff about me being to weak to be helped or that I want hell or that God can’t or won’t help me or that I don’t want him to). I need prayers for deliverance from the obvious demonic influence telling me total lies. Need help to love myself and accept my self and life. And to let God love me. I love Jesus and I think he’s the most awesome and amazing person ever to exist and I want to be with him but I’m feeling alienated and disconnected because I can’t access my true self and emotions due to fear and blocked off ness. Been struggling with despair for a while now, but I have a loving family and great friends and awesome preists. I’m smart and I’m physically healthy and 21. I love God and want to be with him. Please help me guys I need as much prayer as I can get. I’m really scared because Thomas Aquinas said that despair is Truly incurable. I hate that idea and I want to be forgiven desperately for despairing and have been before but I’m so weak and lazy. I have been diagnosed with OCD that takes the obsessions of being a bad person being evil being destined for hell and also fear of going to prison or stuff like that. Part of me has just given in to these nasty narratives. I’ve seen people get out of despair it’s just tough though. Please help me guys. Love me and pray for Jesus to come very very near to my heart.