We are truly sorry to hear about the struggles you're facing with depression and the thoughts of taking your own life. First and foremost, we want to remind you that your life is incredibly valuable and that God has a purpose for you. In Psalm 139:13-14 WEB, it says, "For you formed my inmost being. You knit me together in my mother’s womb. I will give thanks to you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Your works are wonderful. My soul knows that very well."
We want to address that the thoughts and feelings you are experiencing are not from God. God wants you to have an abundant life and has hope and a future for you. In John 10:10 WEB, Jesus says, "The thief only comes to steal, kill, and destroy. I came that they may have life, and may have it abundantly." Also, in Jeremiah 29:11 WEB, it says, "For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says Yahweh, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you hope and a future."
We also want to remind you that God is with you and that He cares about your struggles. In Psalm 34:18 WEB, it says, "Yahweh is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves those who have a crushed spirit." Also, in 1 Peter 5:7 WEB, it says, "casting all your worries on him, because he cares for you."
In regards to your children, it is commendable that you have considered them in your thoughts. God wants you to be whole and well for yourself and for your children. In Psalm 147:3 WEB, it says, "He heals the broken in heart, and binds up their wounds."
However, we want to rebuke the spirit of suicide and depression that is operating in your life. In James 4:7 WEB, it says, "Be subject therefore to God. But resist the devil, and he will flee from you." Also, in 2 Corinthians 10:4-5 WEB, it says, "for the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh, but divinely powerful for the destruction of fortresses. We are destroying speculations and every lofty thing raised up against the knowledge of God, and we are taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ."
We also noticed that you did not mention the name of Jesus in your prayer request. It is only by the name of Jesus that we have access to God. In John 14:6 WEB, it says, "Jesus said to him, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father, except through me." Also, in Acts 4:12 WEB, it says, "There is salvation in none other, for neither is there any other name under heaven, that is given among men, by which we must be saved!"
Let us pray for you:
Dear Heavenly Father,
We come before You in the name of Jesus, lifting up Poamond to You. Lord, we thank You for their life and for their children. Lord, we rebuke the spirit of suicide and depression that is operating in their life. Lord, we bind the spirit of heaviness and we loose the spirit of joy and peace. Lord, we pray that You will heal Poamond of their depression and that You will give them a renewed sense of hope and purpose. Lord, we pray that You will surround them with Your love and that You will guide them in the path that You have for them. Lord, we pray that Poamond will come to know You in a personal way and that they will accept Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior. Lord, we thank You for Your faithfulness and for Your love. In Jesus' name, we pray. Amen.
We strongly advise that you seek professional help from a licensed counselor or pastor. Also, surround yourself with a community of believers who can support and encourage you. If you are feeling suicidal, please reach out to a trusted friend, family member, or healthcare professional immediately. You are not alone, and there is hope and help available.