Anonymous
Beloved of All
Dear Lord, I really need help in my life. I need clarity and direction in my life. I need support and genuine relationships to come. I previously worked in a hospital for 8 years in another state from my hometown. I was eager to change to a new place so I applied for a job transfer. However, I still wasn't able to get a job in another state which I longed for after getting multiple rejections. In the end, I applied to go back to my hometown (unwillingly after no choice) and I got it, I guess, after I made complaints to the government human resource department for the unfair treatment in approving our applications. Due to depression, burnout from my job, and friendship issues, I did not choose to work in a hospital after returning to my hometown. I chose an 8-5 job as an admin. However, I lost my direction. I had a more balanced rest and life but I don't find my job fulfilling like previously. This job is a totally different area, no longer clinical like I used to do. I felt lost and without support. I also felt isolated where I have to work with 2 colleagues only, who are a couple and they are treating me differently. I don't get to have new colleagues as friends here. I felt they are discriminating against me and I have to bear with it just because they are more experienced in this job. The colleagues are impolitely treating me, where I find their culture humiliating. Because they are the only 2 colleagues here, they tend to monopolize the rules here. I find it very uneasy to work with them as they often mumble secretively in the office and we don't normally have an open discussion. When they mumble something suddenly, they tend to lower down their voices so obviously. What makes me annoyed is that they tend to accuse me several times at the first thought for things I did not do or criticize me for little things with improper texts. I really yearn to apply for a job transfer again when I can. The minimum stay was 1 year but 2 years from what the human resource told, but recently probably extend up to 3 years, which I'm afraid to hear about. However, I do not know where I should apply next for the government job, but I want to go back to a clinical job. I did apply for other clinical jobs from the government advertisement in other states but I don't have news after 3 to 6 months. I really don't have confidence as my related experiences have lapsed after 1 year so I do feel recruiters won't consider me a good candidate for them. For now, I have my parents in my hometown. But there is nothing much in terms of entertaining activities after work. I can't find like-minded people and interested activities with the limiting choices here. I find it restricted staying in my hometown. I try to join a Christian fellowship but I just don't feel like I'm meeting the right group of people. Most of them are married couples with kids. I just didn't manage to develop new relationships. I don't have new genuine friendships after 1 year back now. And I'm a 33-year-old female who is still single. I don't get to meet the right people. I just feel life is hopeless. I hope to meet the right man that we can have genuine romance but I can't seem to see any hope out of my situation right now. What I can do is just start a day with prayer and reading the YouVersion Bible. I must admit I'm still anxious all the time because I can't seem to find a way out of this. Please listen to my prayers, Amen. God bless others with the same hopeless situation.
