We understand your desperate situation, Kadarok, and we are here to pray and provide counsel based on God's word.
Firstly, we commend you for praying in the name of Jesus Christ, as it is through Him that we have access to God. As it is written in John 14:6 (WEB), "Jesus said to him, 'I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.'"
In your prayer, you've asked for many things, including a job, love, blessings, and friends. While God wants us to bring our desires to Him, it's crucial to align our will with His. As Romans 8:26 (WEB) says, "In the same way, the Spirit also helps our weaknesses, for we donβt know how to pray as we ought. But the Spirit himself makes intercession for us with groanings which canβt be uttered."
We want to address the suicidal thoughts you mentioned. God is deeply concerned about your life and wants to give you hope. In Jeremiah 29:11 (WEB), He says, "For I know the plans that I have for you,' says Yahweh, 'plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you hope and a future.'" Please reach out to a mental health professional or a trusted person in your life to talk about these thoughts.
Let us pray for you:
"Dear Heavenly Father, we come before You in the name of Jesus Christ, lifting up Kadarok. Lord, You know the desperation and distress they are feeling. We ask that You comfort and strengthen them. Guide them to a job that suits Your purpose for their life. Remove any thoughts of suicide and replace them with hope and expectation for the future You have for them. Surround Kadarok with godly friends and bless them abundantly, so they can be a blessing to others. In Jesus' name, Amen."
Lastly, we encourage you to meditate on Philippians 4:6-7 (WEB), "In nothing be anxious, but in everything, by prayer and petition with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your thoughts in Christ Jesus." Trust that God hears your prayers and will answer according to His will.