Aparchologeo
Prayer Warrior
Dear God, I am now, for the first time in nearly 2 years, seriously considering the reversal surgery for my reversible ileostomy... after so long of bliss and no issues, some things are changing that are becoming too much, and I told God to give me a sign that goes against how much I love having an ileostomy. and this stage in my life *is* the sign... I'm willing to do it, but I fear I want to go through with it out of self-destruction- at this time I'm also job hunting, and the recovery period I will need (several weeks for my bowls to be used to being used again ...) may push back/hinder my very eager developments with finally getting a job (which would mean more than just earning an income, but also a step towards independence from my difficult home life), it would also mean swallowing my pride, and going with a decision that people wanted me to make- people that I do not trust. it would feel like they would be given a nice "I told you so", while I'm the one suffering from the recovery period after the said decision... my pride is not as fragile as it was, but certain people's invasive attitude going unpunished and left to wreak havoc on my mental health REALLY gets to me sometimes. I don't know what I am praying for. I guess just to be in other's thoughts during this very changing time in my life with not much actually comforting support- would be nice. everyone reading this take care.