sgh
Disciple of Prayer
Dear All:
Please find this prayer request below with sincerity and genuineness and I pray that the Lord will lead you to pray and SHARE.
My fiancee Emilee, and I recently split up. We had a four year relationship that began in 2010 and I asked her to marry me in 2012. I failed to keep God at the center of our relationship, and I had a bad relationship with our God during this relationships course. Nevertheless, Emilee extended nothing but love to me, as I steadily tried to convince myself and her that we were not meant to be together, and worked to sabotage the relationship. I ran from what God was calling me to do. I was an absolute shameful pig. I invested emotionally in other people, places, work, school, family…anything but her. I romantically pursued another woman while we were still together, and I never cared enough to listen to the hurt and pain I was causing her. Out of unconditional love and acceptance, she didn’t burden me and eventually reached the point where she would simply stop bringing it up, even as I talked freely and openly about things that were going on in my head. I found out through a friend of hers that she would at times lay awake and sob herself to sleep at night when she got home from my apartment, wondering why she wasn’t good enough, attractive enough, tall enough, skinny enough…whatever the case was, for me, and why I was doing everything in my power to not be her man anymore.
I broke up with her in the 2nd week of June 2014, saying that I wanted space and for us to be just friends. It crushed her heart. As I sat praying on the 5th of July, nearly two weeks later, for God to please just show me what He wanted from me, as I was getting desperate to know, He hit my soul and heart with a thunder bolt that must have come from heaven itself. He hit me so hard with my mistakes, shames and regrets, my guilt and the hurt I caused, that I was physically sick for days with shame, regret and guilt over what I had done and had been doing. He said it so clearly to me it rocked my soul down to my very core being: “Child, everything you have ever needed and wanted, and especially the woman I gave into your life for you to marry, has been in front of your face this whole time. Why have you chosen to refuse to see My provision and why did you throw away what I gave to you?†I have never been more broken and distraught. My soul crumbled within me and I have never wanted to die more in my life as in that moment. I begged God to take me home that night. I immediately rushed to Emilee the next day and begged her to forgive me and take me back and she declined. She felt a cloud was lifted and she didn’t want to be depressed anymore from hurting again. It crumbled and crushed my spirit to hear it…over the next two weeks I did everything I possibly could, INSTEAD OF TRUSTING GOD, to try and win her back (I even went as far as to try and deceive her into talking to me again…I am beyond disappointed in myself for allowing my efforts to sink that low), and made her think that I was a stalker, an emotionally manipulative person, a bad guy, a liar…the whole shabang. That I was/am a sleazebag of a person and she intends on never speaking to me again. As God as my witness, I did not treat her that way during our relationship, but my behavior these last 3 weeks has been indicative of a man that is just not myself.
The love God has given me for her now is unlike anything I have ever experienced, dealt with or managed before. It is the most beautiful, peaceful, contented, all encompassing sacrificial feeling, and it is truly beyond description or comprehension. Though I intend to spend every day praying and waiting for the chance to finally be for HER what she was for ME, no matter how many months and years it may take, this prayer request is for her, not myself. I hurt her deeply and the most shameful part is realizing that I wasn’t even paying attention. I am praying so hard for her emotional healing, and for her to have joy and peace again, and I’m asking that you would pray and SHARE this request with everyone you know. Pray that the Lord heals and moves her spirit and her heart. Pray that His will be done in our lives and that if He wills, that He would fill her with love and a softened heart. Pray that Christ will fill her again with love and that He will shine so brightly through the new man He has made me that my name, my reputation and trust will be restored. Pray that He would reveal to her the same He revealed to me, in His perfect time and that restoration and peace would come. Pray that the Lord would resolve discord between His believers and keep us from the deadly sin of sowing discord. Pray for her emotional and spiritual safety and security. Pray that I would have the strength to wait on Him and on her, no matter the outcome or how long He should ask me to, and that He would use this opportunity to prepare both myself and her in heart, body mind and spirit.
PLEASE FORWARD THIS TO OTHERS WHO WILL PASS IT ALONG AND ASK OTHERS TO PRAY AS WELL.
In love and grace,
Stephen Harvey
Please find this prayer request below with sincerity and genuineness and I pray that the Lord will lead you to pray and SHARE.
My fiancee Emilee, and I recently split up. We had a four year relationship that began in 2010 and I asked her to marry me in 2012. I failed to keep God at the center of our relationship, and I had a bad relationship with our God during this relationships course. Nevertheless, Emilee extended nothing but love to me, as I steadily tried to convince myself and her that we were not meant to be together, and worked to sabotage the relationship. I ran from what God was calling me to do. I was an absolute shameful pig. I invested emotionally in other people, places, work, school, family…anything but her. I romantically pursued another woman while we were still together, and I never cared enough to listen to the hurt and pain I was causing her. Out of unconditional love and acceptance, she didn’t burden me and eventually reached the point where she would simply stop bringing it up, even as I talked freely and openly about things that were going on in my head. I found out through a friend of hers that she would at times lay awake and sob herself to sleep at night when she got home from my apartment, wondering why she wasn’t good enough, attractive enough, tall enough, skinny enough…whatever the case was, for me, and why I was doing everything in my power to not be her man anymore.
I broke up with her in the 2nd week of June 2014, saying that I wanted space and for us to be just friends. It crushed her heart. As I sat praying on the 5th of July, nearly two weeks later, for God to please just show me what He wanted from me, as I was getting desperate to know, He hit my soul and heart with a thunder bolt that must have come from heaven itself. He hit me so hard with my mistakes, shames and regrets, my guilt and the hurt I caused, that I was physically sick for days with shame, regret and guilt over what I had done and had been doing. He said it so clearly to me it rocked my soul down to my very core being: “Child, everything you have ever needed and wanted, and especially the woman I gave into your life for you to marry, has been in front of your face this whole time. Why have you chosen to refuse to see My provision and why did you throw away what I gave to you?†I have never been more broken and distraught. My soul crumbled within me and I have never wanted to die more in my life as in that moment. I begged God to take me home that night. I immediately rushed to Emilee the next day and begged her to forgive me and take me back and she declined. She felt a cloud was lifted and she didn’t want to be depressed anymore from hurting again. It crumbled and crushed my spirit to hear it…over the next two weeks I did everything I possibly could, INSTEAD OF TRUSTING GOD, to try and win her back (I even went as far as to try and deceive her into talking to me again…I am beyond disappointed in myself for allowing my efforts to sink that low), and made her think that I was a stalker, an emotionally manipulative person, a bad guy, a liar…the whole shabang. That I was/am a sleazebag of a person and she intends on never speaking to me again. As God as my witness, I did not treat her that way during our relationship, but my behavior these last 3 weeks has been indicative of a man that is just not myself.
The love God has given me for her now is unlike anything I have ever experienced, dealt with or managed before. It is the most beautiful, peaceful, contented, all encompassing sacrificial feeling, and it is truly beyond description or comprehension. Though I intend to spend every day praying and waiting for the chance to finally be for HER what she was for ME, no matter how many months and years it may take, this prayer request is for her, not myself. I hurt her deeply and the most shameful part is realizing that I wasn’t even paying attention. I am praying so hard for her emotional healing, and for her to have joy and peace again, and I’m asking that you would pray and SHARE this request with everyone you know. Pray that the Lord heals and moves her spirit and her heart. Pray that His will be done in our lives and that if He wills, that He would fill her with love and a softened heart. Pray that Christ will fill her again with love and that He will shine so brightly through the new man He has made me that my name, my reputation and trust will be restored. Pray that He would reveal to her the same He revealed to me, in His perfect time and that restoration and peace would come. Pray that the Lord would resolve discord between His believers and keep us from the deadly sin of sowing discord. Pray for her emotional and spiritual safety and security. Pray that I would have the strength to wait on Him and on her, no matter the outcome or how long He should ask me to, and that He would use this opportunity to prepare both myself and her in heart, body mind and spirit.
PLEASE FORWARD THIS TO OTHERS WHO WILL PASS IT ALONG AND ASK OTHERS TO PRAY AS WELL.
In love and grace,
Stephen Harvey
