Today's post is more about me seeking The Lords will on Marriage, Divorce, Remarriage, and Parenting. This has been in my thoughts for months. I have not written about it because I have no revelation on it. Recently events have made it so strong on my mind I believe some light will be shed on it. This again will be more like a journal entry and may not have any organization to it.
My mother was married to my biological father until I was two. The story goes he was a wonderful man until he went to Vietnam, but when he returned he was profoundly changed. That is when he began using drugs and alcohol, and feeding a raging sex addiction. At the age of five she married another man, that later adopted me as his own. This marriage was full of secrets, anger, resentments, fighting, etc... I was scared of him. He did not physically abuse me, (my brother I believe so), no sexual abuse, there was something else. He was very controlling, sarcastic, and angry. There was adultery in the marriage. People in the community love him, he is a totally different person at home. There was constant tension in my home. My mother seemed to take it because she was scared to be divorced two times and financial security. My mother confided in me all the time. I would feel such relief when she said they were divorcing, only to have my hopes killed a couple weeks later when they reconciled. This went on for years until they finally divorced when I was 16.
I have witnessed many women stay in abusive marriages for many reasons; kids, financial security, shame, religion, etc...I have seen many women allow their kids to be put through literal hell for the sake of their marriages. They have hauled them around in the middle of the night hunting down the husband that was with another woman, drunk, in jail etc...They have severely neglected their children s needs to some how satisfy an unsatisfied man. I have also seen women allow a man to neglect, physically abuse, or emotionally abuse their children, for the sake of the marriage. Many times these women have used the bible to justify their actions.
After a horrendously abusive first marriage, I decided I would never be like that, I would never be like my mom or those women. My kids would always come before my husband. I would protect them at all cost. I freely admit, and have ask The Lord for forgiveness about this, my kids came before my husband. That obviously is not in Gods order, and chaos was the result.
This may seem off topic, however in my thoughts it is very much related. Divorce and remarriage.
Matthew
8 Jesus replied, “Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning. 9 I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.â€
The Lords teachings weigh heavy on my heart. I have listened to David Pawson's teaching on the subject. He explains that the remarriage is sin. It is not that The Lord wants me to stay living in an abusive situation, but to leave the door open to first husband finding the Lord and coming back. As it stands now I am remarried thus the door is shut.
Every time I have relations with my current husband it is adultery? It comes down to repenting. If I repent for the divorce and remarriage, it means I turn away from it, and do not continue to do it. Thus relations with my husband is repeating sin, and causing my husband to commit adultery with me thus possibly condemning him to eternal hell. Pawson's only recommendation is to give it to God. Ask God to lead me, if He wants me to leave my current husband I will do it, if not I will stay.
When discussing this with a sister of mine a while ago, leaving would have been the easier option in this situation. It would not have been out of love for him, it would have been the easy way out at that point.
I have read the other theory that God is in the second marriage, and not to peruse the first marriage.
Here is what I do have limited understanding of now. In this earthly life time marriage is to represent the relationship between Christ and the Church. I know if that was the intentions the divorce rate in our country must be heart breaking for God. If two flesh become one, how can that ever be separated? How can there be a divorce between Christ and the church? What constitutes a marriage that God brings together? I wonder if every marriage is what God brings together or are most a union of two people choosing out of fleshly desires?
Dear Lord bless me with wisdom on divorce and remarriage. I want to do Your will. You have stated we are to live in this world but not of it. I want to see it the way You do. Thank You Lord for every blessing You have given me and my family.
My mother was married to my biological father until I was two. The story goes he was a wonderful man until he went to Vietnam, but when he returned he was profoundly changed. That is when he began using drugs and alcohol, and feeding a raging sex addiction. At the age of five she married another man, that later adopted me as his own. This marriage was full of secrets, anger, resentments, fighting, etc... I was scared of him. He did not physically abuse me, (my brother I believe so), no sexual abuse, there was something else. He was very controlling, sarcastic, and angry. There was adultery in the marriage. People in the community love him, he is a totally different person at home. There was constant tension in my home. My mother seemed to take it because she was scared to be divorced two times and financial security. My mother confided in me all the time. I would feel such relief when she said they were divorcing, only to have my hopes killed a couple weeks later when they reconciled. This went on for years until they finally divorced when I was 16.
I have witnessed many women stay in abusive marriages for many reasons; kids, financial security, shame, religion, etc...I have seen many women allow their kids to be put through literal hell for the sake of their marriages. They have hauled them around in the middle of the night hunting down the husband that was with another woman, drunk, in jail etc...They have severely neglected their children s needs to some how satisfy an unsatisfied man. I have also seen women allow a man to neglect, physically abuse, or emotionally abuse their children, for the sake of the marriage. Many times these women have used the bible to justify their actions.
After a horrendously abusive first marriage, I decided I would never be like that, I would never be like my mom or those women. My kids would always come before my husband. I would protect them at all cost. I freely admit, and have ask The Lord for forgiveness about this, my kids came before my husband. That obviously is not in Gods order, and chaos was the result.
This may seem off topic, however in my thoughts it is very much related. Divorce and remarriage.
Matthew
8 Jesus replied, “Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning. 9 I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.â€
The Lords teachings weigh heavy on my heart. I have listened to David Pawson's teaching on the subject. He explains that the remarriage is sin. It is not that The Lord wants me to stay living in an abusive situation, but to leave the door open to first husband finding the Lord and coming back. As it stands now I am remarried thus the door is shut.
Every time I have relations with my current husband it is adultery? It comes down to repenting. If I repent for the divorce and remarriage, it means I turn away from it, and do not continue to do it. Thus relations with my husband is repeating sin, and causing my husband to commit adultery with me thus possibly condemning him to eternal hell. Pawson's only recommendation is to give it to God. Ask God to lead me, if He wants me to leave my current husband I will do it, if not I will stay.
When discussing this with a sister of mine a while ago, leaving would have been the easier option in this situation. It would not have been out of love for him, it would have been the easy way out at that point.
I have read the other theory that God is in the second marriage, and not to peruse the first marriage.
Here is what I do have limited understanding of now. In this earthly life time marriage is to represent the relationship between Christ and the Church. I know if that was the intentions the divorce rate in our country must be heart breaking for God. If two flesh become one, how can that ever be separated? How can there be a divorce between Christ and the church? What constitutes a marriage that God brings together? I wonder if every marriage is what God brings together or are most a union of two people choosing out of fleshly desires?
Dear Lord bless me with wisdom on divorce and remarriage. I want to do Your will. You have stated we are to live in this world but not of it. I want to see it the way You do. Thank You Lord for every blessing You have given me and my family.
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