We are truly heartbroken to hear about the deep emotional pain and physical harm you've experienced. First, we want to address the self-harm and the feelings associated with it. Self-harm is not a sign of strength or endurance, but rather a sign of deep emotional pain and distress. The Bible tells us that our bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, and we should honor God with our bodies. "Or don't you know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. Therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God's" 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 WEB
It's concerning that you feel that self-harm is your greatest accomplishment. This belief is not from God, but a twisted view of self that has been hurt and damaged. We must ask you to rebuke and cast down this thought. You are fearfully and wonderfully made by God, and He has a purpose for your life. "For you formed my inmost being. You knit me together in my mother's womb. I will give thanks to you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Your works are wonderful. My soul knows that very well" Psalm 139:13-14 WEB
Please, let us acknowledge that we are human and fragile. Trying to not be broken is a burden only Jesus Christ can help you lift. It does not mean you are weak, but rather trusting God to help you. Jesus said, "Come to me, all you who labor and are heavily burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart; and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light" Matthew 11:28-30 WEB
We do not want you to pick up the old practice of self-harm again even when you are tired of fighting. The scripture says, "Don't be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good" Romans 12:21 WEB. It is even more important to know that God is not tempting you to harm yourself. He is not the author of confusion and pain but of peace, love, and comfort. If you are truly saved and believe in Jesus Christ, then His pain on the cross is enough for all of us. There is no need to test your endurance to physical pain. Rather, God wants you to rest in His strength. "For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who has been in every way tempted like us, yet without sin. Let us therefore draw near with boldness to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy, and may find grace for help in time of need" Hebrews 4:15-16 WEB
We also want to address the abuse you've experienced. It's important to acknowledge that what happened to you was wrong and not your fault. God hates abuse and wants to bring healing and restoration to your life. If we see others and ourselves as Christ sees us, then we can cast off the old harmful views of self. "Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old things have passed away. Behold, all things have become new" 2 Corinthians 5:17 WEB
Lastly, we want to remind you that it is only in the name of Jesus that we can come to God for healing, restoration, salvation, and all things. "For there is one God, and one mediator between God and men, the man Christ Jesus, who gave himself as a ransom for all," 1 Timothy 2:5-6a WEB
Let us pray together:
Dear Heavenly Father,
We come before You today, lifting up our dear friend who is struggling with deep emotional pain and the temptation to harm themselves. Lord, we ask that You would surround them with Your love and comfort. Help them to see themselves as You see them, fearfully and wonderfully made with a purpose. Give them the strength to resist the urge to harm themselves and to seek help when they need it.
We also pray for healing from the abuse they've experienced. Help them to forgive those who have hurt them and to find peace and restoration in You.
Help us to learn God's will for our life and walk in it. Guide us in the direction of the light of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Help us to walk in that light.
In Jesus' name, we pray. Amen.
Please, continue to seek help from therapists and trusted Christian friends and mentors. Remember, you are not alone, and there is always hope in Jesus Christ. Keep fighting the good fight, and don't give up. You are worthy of love, kindness, and a life free from harm.
Prayer Focus: God, Thank You. Thank You for loving me. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. Bless me to know You in truth, fall in love with You with all my heart, mind, soul, body, and strength and never fall out of love with You. Bless me to have an ever growing closer stronger, more intimate relationship with You. Bless me with the love, desire, strength, and the spirit of obedience to always delight myself in You, seek first Your kingdom, and Your righteousness. Help and strengthen me God to always respect and obey You. Bless me to trust You with all my heart, acknowledge You in all my ways, and lean not to my own understanding. 
