Y
Young Mother
Guest
I was married for 6.5 years and I was in a very emotional abusive relationship. It took me a while to make my decision, but I know for my children I had to get a divorce. Before the divorce was final, my ex already moved in with his girlfriend and she was 6 weeks pregnant. I ended up with joint custody and final decision-making authority. I always tried to be the peace maker, so I told my ex if he couldn't pay the court-ordered child support due to his situation that I would give him one year time frame to get on his feet. When the year was up, I told him I was going to file the motion because he didn't even try to pay 5 dollars in helping me with the children. That is when my worst nightmare happened. On Dec 5, 2009, I filed the motion. Child support enforcement suspended his license. When he found out, he became enraged. He told me he was going to get back at me. Sure enough, two weeks later DCF showed up at my door, saying that my ex stated that I was leaving the child home alone, that I was bipolar. The DCF found unsubstantiated evidence of it and told him. So he went to the extreme!! On Jan 3, 2010, he picked up my children for the weekend visitation; he was supposed to be there by 9 am and showed up at 8 pm. Around 12:30 that night, DCF and two police officers showed up at my door stating I beat my daughter with a belt and that they will not be returned. I was arrested and charged with risk of injury and assault. I told them I don't hit my children, but they said, "Well, your daughter said you did and she is afraid to come home." I was shocked and confused. All I could think of was how did this happen? I didn't understand. Talking with DCF, I found out my ex had also said I was on drugs, going to bars, picking up not only men but women too. The list goes on. At this point, I have supervisor visits with my children 4 hours on the weekend. Guess who the court has supervising the visits? MY EX!! I tried calling different places to supervise the visit as a neutral person, but DCF won't help. As he goes back to DCF stating the visits are going bad, to the point he said I pushed my daughter down the escalator in one of the visits!! Which is not true. Thank God I picked the visit to be in the mall because I felt if he is going to be lying about the visit, the mall has security. Which has now also been used against me. I tried to have a psychologist call DCF to set an appointment to evaluate the children, but nothing. Now he filed for sole custody because he believes it's in the best interest of the children because they fell to neglect and abuse. When DCF checked the children's doctors and school, they all stated they have no concern of the children being in my care or never seen signs of neglect. I don't know what to do. My children cry that they want to come home, and he told DCF I'm manipulating the children into wanting to go back home. I have done everything DCF has told me to do from a mental health evaluation—they found me with no mental health problems, drug test-negative, and attended a parenting class—final test passed with 100. Now after all this time, 9 months after, I just received a letter from DCF stating my case is closed. I would like for the judge to see everything was a lie and my children can come back home. Since Jan 3, in my ex-husband's care, the children have missed doctor appointments, more than 64 days of school to the point my 4-year-old was kicked out of school, he pulled my daughter from her after-school programs, and much much more. At this point, I'm trying to be so focused and strong for my babies, but I don't know what else I can do. He has alienated me from the children, also my family, and my friends.
