Currently, I feel like I've become an ...

[Enthymeros]

Currently, I feel like I've become an apostate. Heart hardened. Feeling condemned by scriptures. Having evil thoughts that are catching me by surprise. And feeling very suicidal Feeling cut off from God. Feeling like no more opportunity for me to make heaven again. Like I'm confined to hell. This is very very scary I've had some demonic dreams which ended up scaring me. And leaving me in a state of panic/fear/condemnation Back in 2014, I had a nervous breakdown. I didn't know it was a nervous breakdown then, all I know is prior to that time, I started having a lot of condemnation and then the intrusive thoughts started coming and I could not fight it. I could not pray. I became very fearful and kept it to myself until one night I couldn't hold it anymore, I woke up in the middle of the night screaming ... It was as if the holy spirit left me I wasn't myself.... My parents were as confused as I was. I was taken here and there I became more stable, but I still felt that the holy spirit was gone. I thought and thought of where I got it wrong... I was just condemned on all of my thoughts. I tried praying, but it felt like I was just talking to myself I knew something was terribly wrong with me I tried talking with some christians then, but they were t really getting me as I wasn't making any much sense I was being plagued by thoughts that I was going to die any time soon or lose my mind, or get hit by a car I was in a church program in 2015, the preacher preached, and I listened... Then he shared a true life testimony about how God's love availed for a man who was at a dying moment. Somehow, my faith latched on, that if God could have mercy on that man, me too I'll lay hold on his mercy Before I knew it, in the days to come, I started loving the scriptures again and praying... I now had a new understanding of the scriptures and I had joy It was like I became born again , again But I still lived in fear, though I was still walking in obedience to God outwardly I had fear in my heart Though somehow, with prayers and the word I was able to get them down I met my husband 2015 ending And in 2016 Ending we got married. Around the time of our wedding, I'll admit even though we didn't engage in premarital sex, we were quite intimate.... I felt remorse about this , I prayed to God to forgive me. But weeks to the wedding I started feeling panic all over again, similar to how the first attack began. Then fear played it's part as my dad was having dreams of dead people, I was scared and almost had another breakdown. On the wedding day , I didn't want to get out of bed, I was under severe panic and eventually, I was taken to the hospital on the wedding day and treated for malaria After the wedding, I was still battling this symptoms, and so I spoke with the pastor of the church that I attend, and with time, I was able to be strong in God again But I kept having recurrent attacks over the course of our marriage, depression, panic and I kept praying and studying God's word. Condemnation When I got pregnant with my first child, it was tough. I thought I was going to die, the intrusive thoughts were daily... I didn't really understand what was happening But I kept praying I eventually had my daughter 2017ending Still I continued to struggle with attacks in my mind , it was jumping from one issue to the other At a time I struggled with bitterness and anger I kept praying and studying for God's direction as it was causing me to be depressed But in 2020 I had another breakdown, It was very serious I was taken to the hospital but later referred to Neuropsychiatric hospital and I was diagnosed with a major depressive disorder All these events were very traumatic Yet, I felt cut off from God yet again The intrusive thoughts were looming I felt there's surely no way of getting out this time I was still on medications but i continued searching online for christian help to these things Finally I had a mini breakthrough And I ran with it The light came on again But this time, the struggle was much, I was fighting one battle in my mind after another There are times I feel like something wanted me to accept a though pattern and I'll cry and pray and study in that area So. From one battle to another It was like I was living under a cloud I got tired but was still able to hold on to God until very recently, I struggled so much with bitterness and anger and I couldn't get over it even though I knew it was wrong and prayed and studied Recently, I felt cut off yet again, this time, the intrusive thoughts are worse, telling me there's no way out this time, I've exhausted all the grace available to me. I feel battle weary and already felt condemned to hell I have been very suicidal. Cos it's like it's either I end it now or continue to live in misery I feel like those the bible call apostate I tried praying but can't even do it. I tried studying the Bible but seem condemned by it. I total shut down. Couldn't go to work , take care of my children , etc. Just there. Earlier, each time I tried to fight these thoughts I'll encounter massive attacks that'll leave me running back in fear Currently, I have never felt so cut off from God. I feel my heart is so hardened and I can't repent for all my sins again. I don't just know what to do, I feel something is binding my heart, I don't feel joy, I don't enjoy anything again... And something in me is being thrilled about evil. I try to dissociate myself... I keep being tempted daily to end it. My husband is saying I am allowing the devil to torment me. It's not like I want him to, but just that the only person I could run to from help feels cut off from me and I feel like I'm damned. Please , is there a chance that there is any hope for me. I am ashamed. I haven't left the house in a week plus, seem to be tormented in my sleep. I always wake up around 2 or 3 with wrong thoughts that leave me feeling like running away or killing myself cos how can I claim to be a Christian yet my thoughts are not okay 247. I don't feel like a Christian anymore. I need help I've been here since July beginning In this state And it appears to be getting worse. The only prayer I've been muttering is God help me But then the thoughts are telling me otherwise That I'm just wasting my time. I just feel tired And like I failed and disappointed God The thoughts sometimes tell me to renounce God. And I'll just shake my head Yes I am. I am always watching encouraging videos online cos if I drop my phone the thoughts will start again No love in my heart again. It's like I am running on empty. Im not even running again I feel all these are happening though because of the condemnation of being cut off from God. Please pray that God will restore my mental health and give me grace to find faith in him again. Amen. Thanks in anticipation

 

[Articles]

Heavenly Father, we come to you in the name of Jesus Christ, asking for your help and guidance in the life of Enthymeros. We ask that you would soften his heart and fill him with your love and grace. We ask that you would give him a renewed sense of hope and purpose, and that you would help him to find his way back to you. We ask that you would protect him from the evil thoughts and demonic dreams that have been plaguing him, and that you would give him peace and comfort in the midst of his fear and condemnation. We ask that you would restore his faith and trust in you, and that you would help him to find his way back to a place of joy and peace. We pray these things in Jesus' name, Amen.

 

[The Encourager]

May God in Jesus' name answer your prayer request according to God's perfect love, wisdom, will, timing, grace, and mercy. Thank You Jesus!!!

Psalm 37:4: Delight yourself also in the Lord, And He shall give you the desires of your heart.
Matthew 6:33: But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.

Let Us Pray: God I ask You in Jesus' name bless me with everything I stand in need of, and everything You want me to have. Bless me to prosper, have excellent health, and never stop growing in the grace and knowledge of Christ Jesus. Bless me with love, power, and a sound mind. Heal me in every area of my life. Bless me to let Your Word be a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path. God bless me with Your favor, knowledge, wisdom, peace, protection, prosperity, strength, and success in all You have called me to do. And bless me to do all You have called me to do in the spirit of excellence for Your glory.

Bless me with the strength, desire, and passion to always delight myself in the Lord, seek first the kingdom of God, and His righteousness. Bless me to know You, love You, and live my life to please You. God cleansed me of everything in my life that breaks your heart. Let me be a light in this dark world, lifting You up in the lifestyle that I live. Let the world see that Jesus Christ is my Savior and Lord of ALL of my life. Let the joy of the Lord be my strength. Protect me God from all the plans of my enemies and the enemy of my soul. God all that I have asked of You, in this prayer, please do the same for the writer of the prayer, those I love, care about, those who truly love me, care about me, want Your best and pray Your best for me. God please forever honor this prayer over each of our lives. God Thank You. Thank You Lord Jesus. Amen, so be it by faith, and by faith, it is so in Jesus' name. Prayer was written by Encourager Linda Flagg, M.A., Board Certified Professional Christian Life Coach.

God Has You In Training

You Are In Training

be-an-encourager.blogspot.com

 

[usha rani]

I prayed for this in Jesus Name. Amen.

 

[hostadmin]

Thank you for giving us the privilege to pray on your behalf. We are glad that that you asked us to stand in agreement with you in prayer. If your request was answered, please post a praise report and let us all know. If your request does not seem to have been answered, please post it again as a new request and allow us to continue with you in prayer. We all hope that our prayers are answered in the way that we want. Sometimes we believe that God is not answering our prayers because we do not see what we expect. In these cases, we should persist in prayer and determine how God is answering our prayer. May God bless you as you continue to seek him through his son, Jesus Christ.

 

[Raldau]

Currently, I feel like I've become an apostate. Heart hardened. Feeling condemned by scriptures. Having evil thoughts that are catching me by surprise. And feeling very suicidal Feeling cut off from God. Feeling like no more opportunity for me to make heaven again. Like I'm confined to hell. This is very very scary I've had some demonic dreams which ended up scaring me. And leaving me in a state of panic/fear/condemnation Back in 2014, I had a nervous breakdown. I didn't know it was a nervous breakdown then, all I know is prior to that time, I started having a lot of condemnation and then the intrusive thoughts started coming and I could not fight it. I could not pray. I became very fearful and kept it to myself until one night I couldn't hold it anymore, I woke up in the middle of the night screaming ... It was as if the holy spirit left me I wasn't myself.... My parents were as confused as I was. I was taken here and there I became more stable, but I still felt that the holy spirit was gone. I thought and thought of where I got it wrong... I was just condemned on all of my thoughts. I tried praying, but it felt like I was just talking to myself I knew something was terribly wrong with me I tried talking with some christians then, but they were t really getting me as I wasn't making any much sense I was being plagued by thoughts that I was going to die any time soon or lose my mind, or get hit by a car I was in a church program in 2015, the preacher preached, and I listened... Then he shared a true life testimony about how God's love availed for a man who was at a dying moment. Somehow, my faith latched on, that if God could have mercy on that man, me too I'll lay hold on his mercy Before I knew it, in the days to come, I started loving the scriptures again and praying... I now had a new understanding of the scriptures and I had joy It was like I became born again , again But I still lived in fear, though I was still walking in obedience to God outwardly I had fear in my heart Though somehow, with prayers and the word I was able to get them down I met my husband 2015 ending And in 2016 Ending we got married. Around the time of our wedding, I'll admit even though we didn't engage in premarital sex, we were quite intimate.... I felt remorse about this , I prayed to God to forgive me. But weeks to the wedding I started feeling panic all over again, similar to how the first attack began. Then fear played it's part as my dad was having dreams of dead people, I was scared and almost had another breakdown. On the wedding day , I didn't want to get out of bed, I was under severe panic and eventually, I was taken to the hospital on the wedding day and treated for malaria After the wedding, I was still battling this symptoms, and so I spoke with the pastor of the church that I attend, and with time, I was able to be strong in God again But I kept having recurrent attacks over the course of our marriage, depression, panic and I kept praying and studying God's word. Condemnation When I got pregnant with my first child, it was tough. I thought I was going to die, the intrusive thoughts were daily... I didn't really understand what was happening But I kept praying I eventually had my daughter 2017ending Still I continued to struggle with attacks in my mind , it was jumping from one issue to the other At a time I struggled with bitterness and anger I kept praying and studying for God's direction as it was causing me to be depressed But in 2020 I had another breakdown, It was very serious I was taken to the hospital but later referred to Neuropsychiatric hospital and I was diagnosed with a major depressive disorder All these events were very traumatic Yet, I felt cut off from God yet again The intrusive thoughts were looming I felt there's surely no way of getting out this time I was still on medications but i continued searching online for christian help to these things Finally I had a mini breakthrough And I ran with it The light came on again But this time, the struggle was much, I was fighting one battle in my mind after another There are times I feel like something wanted me to accept a though pattern and I'll cry and pray and study in that area So. From one battle to another It was like I was living under a cloud I got tired but was still able to hold on to God until very recently, I struggled so much with bitterness and anger and I couldn't get over it even though I knew it was wrong and prayed and studied Recently, I felt cut off yet again, this time, the intrusive thoughts are worse, telling me there's no way out this time, I've exhausted all the grace available to me. I feel battle weary and already felt condemned to hell I have been very suicidal. Cos it's like it's either I end it now or continue to live in misery I feel like those the bible call apostate I tried praying but can't even do it. I tried studying the Bible but seem condemned by it. I total shut down. Couldn't go to work , take care of my children , etc. Just there. Earlier, each time I tried to fight these thoughts I'll encounter massive attacks that'll leave me running back in fear Currently, I have never felt so cut off from God. I feel my heart is so hardened and I can't repent for all my sins again. I don't just know what to do, I feel something is binding my heart, I don't feel joy, I don't enjoy anything again... And something in me is being thrilled about evil. I try to dissociate myself... I keep being tempted daily to end it. My husband is saying I am allowing the devil to torment me. It's not like I want him to, but just that the only person I could run to from help feels cut off from me and I feel like I'm damned. Please , is there a chance that there is any hope for me. I am ashamed. I haven't left the house in a week plus, seem to be tormented in my sleep. I always wake up around 2 or 3 with wrong thoughts that leave me feeling like running away or killing myself cos how can I claim to be a Christian yet my thoughts are not okay 247. I don't feel like a Christian anymore. I need help I've been here since July beginning In this state And it appears to be getting worse. The only prayer I've been muttering is God help me But then the thoughts are telling me otherwise That I'm just wasting my time. I just feel tired And like I failed and disappointed God The thoughts sometimes tell me to renounce God. And I'll just shake my head Yes I am. I am always watching encouraging videos online cos if I drop my phone the thoughts will start again No love in my heart. It's like I am running on empty. Im not even running again I feel all these are happening though because of the condemnation of being cut off from God. Please pray that God will restore my mental health and give me the grace to find faith in him again. Amen. Thanks in anticipation

Father God, please have mercy upon Ethymeros, At this time we need as many warriors for you. I am releasing healing over your mind, spirit, and heart, in Jesus' name. No longer will you be in a state of distress, evil spirits do not have power over you. For God, will heal you. I declare in Jesus' name you are healed. Mental illness will be more. In Jesus' name. Amen!

 

[Mewynilor]

Currently, I feel like I've become an apostate. Heart hardened. Feeling condemned by scriptures. Having evil thoughts that are catching me by surprise. And feeling very suicidal Feeling cut off from God. Feeling like no more opportunity for me to make heaven again. Like I'm confined to hell. This is very very scary I've had some demonic dreams which ended up scaring me. And leaving me in a state of panic/fear/condemnation Back in 2014, I had a nervous breakdown. I didn't know it was a nervous breakdown then, all I know is prior to that time, I started having a lot of condemnation and then the intrusive thoughts started coming and I could not fight it. I could not pray. I became very fearful and kept it to myself until one night I couldn't hold it anymore, I woke up in the middle of the night screaming ... It was as if the holy spirit left me I wasn't myself.... My parents were as confused as I was. I was taken here and there I became more stable, but I still felt that the holy spirit was gone. I thought and thought of where I got it wrong... I was just condemned on all of my thoughts. I tried praying, but it felt like I was just talking to myself I knew something was terribly wrong with me I tried talking with some christians then, but they were t really getting me as I wasn't making any much sense I was being plagued by thoughts that I was going to die any time soon or lose my mind, or get hit by a car I was in a church program in 2015, the preacher preached, and I listened... Then he shared a true life testimony about how God's love availed for a man who was at a dying moment. Somehow, my faith latched on, that if God could have mercy on that man, me too I'll lay hold on his mercy Before I knew it, in the days to come, I started loving the scriptures again and praying... I now had a new understanding of the scriptures and I had joy It was like I became born again , again But I still lived in fear, though I was still walking in obedience to God outwardly I had fear in my heart Though somehow, with prayers and the word I was able to get them down I met my husband 2015 ending And in 2016 Ending we got married. Around the time of our wedding, I'll admit even though we didn't engage in premarital sex, we were quite intimate.... I felt remorse about this , I prayed to God to forgive me. But weeks to the wedding I started feeling panic all over again, similar to how the first attack began. Then fear played it's part as my dad was having dreams of dead people, I was scared and almost had another breakdown. On the wedding day , I didn't want to get out of bed, I was under severe panic and eventually, I was taken to the hospital on the wedding day and treated for malaria After the wedding, I was still battling this symptoms, and so I spoke with the pastor of the church that I attend, and with time, I was able to be strong in God again But I kept having recurrent attacks over the course of our marriage, depression, panic and I kept praying and studying God's word. Condemnation When I got pregnant with my first child, it was tough. I thought I was going to die, the intrusive thoughts were daily... I didn't really understand what was happening But I kept praying I eventually had my daughter 2017ending Still I continued to struggle with attacks in my mind , it was jumping from one issue to the other At a time I struggled with bitterness and anger I kept praying and studying for God's direction as it was causing me to be depressed But in 2020 I had another breakdown, It was very serious I was taken to the hospital but later referred to Neuropsychiatric hospital and I was diagnosed with a major depressive disorder All these events were very traumatic Yet, I felt cut off from God yet again The intrusive thoughts were looming I felt there's surely no way of getting out this time I was still on medications but i continued searching online for christian help to these things Finally I had a mini breakthrough And I ran with it The light came on again But this time, the struggle was much, I was fighting one battle in my mind after another There are times I feel like something wanted me to accept a though pattern and I'll cry and pray and study in that area So. From one battle to another It was like I was living under a cloud I got tired but was still able to hold on to God until very recently, I struggled so much with bitterness and anger and I couldn't get over it even though I knew it was wrong and prayed and studied Recently, I felt cut off yet again, this time, the intrusive thoughts are worse, telling me there's no way out this time, I've exhausted all the grace available to me. I feel battle weary and already felt condemned to hell I have been very suicidal. Cos it's like it's either I end it now or continue to live in misery I feel like those the bible call apostate I tried praying but can't even do it. I tried studying the Bible but seem condemned by it. I total shut down. Couldn't go to work , take care of my children , etc. Just there. Earlier, each time I tried to fight these thoughts I'll encounter massive attacks that'll leave me running back in fear Currently, I have never felt so cut off from God. I feel my heart is so hardened and I can't repent for all my sins again. I don't just know what to do, I feel something is binding my heart, I don't feel joy, I don't enjoy anything again... And something in me is being thrilled about evil. I try to dissociate myself... I keep being tempted daily to end it. My husband is saying I am allowing the devil to torment me. It's not like I want him to, but just that the only person I could run to from help feels cut off from me and I feel like I'm damned. Please , is there a chance that there is any hope for me. I am ashamed. I haven't left the house in a week plus, seem to be tormented in my sleep. I always wake up around 2 or 3 with wrong thoughts that leave me feeling like running away or killing myself cos how can I claim to be a Christian yet my thoughts are not okay 247. I don't feel like a Christian anymore. I need help I've been here since July beginning In this state And it appears to be getting worse. The only prayer I've been muttering is God help me But then the thoughts are telling me otherwise That I'm just wasting my time. I just feel tired And like I failed and disappointed God The thoughts sometimes tell me to renounce God. And I'll just shake my head Yes I am. I am always watching encouraging videos online cos if I drop my phone the thoughts will start again No love in my heart again. It's like I am running on empty. Im not even running again I feel all these are happening though because of the condemnation of being cut off from God. Please pray that God will restore my mental health and give me grace to find faith in him again. Amen. Thanks in anticipation

For the evil thought just know that it is from the devil not you so Inorder I help put an end to it just keeps on reading your bible and pray and again when ever the evil thought come just say this word l am a righteousness of God in Christ Jesus l have the mind set of Christ Jesus Jesus Christ lives in me and I In him I hope this helps but make sure you said this positive word to your self