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Humble Servant of All
Contending with anger, disappointment and grief.
Our current situation could've been remedied 2.5 years ago, but have been promised help from people who wound up telling me they wouldn't help after having promised such.
Perhaps this is what is holding my family's miracle back: The resentment and anger. I have worked on letting it go very hard, but the cycle regenerates every time I talk to these people, and NOT talking to them is not talking to one of them at least is not an option.
Having nearly completed all my prerequisites to get into the Respiratory Therapy Program, I was told by my mother that I should "...just quit school and get a job at the hospital." I continued, despite this demand. I was promised $5,000 from an inheritance, which never came to fruition. Instead, I was told it was given to other relative who have an overabundance...enough to supply them with the luxuries of 5 vehicles, (custom/classic) all the marijuana they can smoke and two bottles of champagne a night. (Yes, I'm being highly-detailed, but I MUST get rid of these negative feelings!!!) After that fact was revealed, my mother stated that she "...[felt] so much better...." having told me about it.
I have been degraded the same for working and going to school, because my boys had to go to daycare, being told "Cat's in the Cradle." Now that I can't find employment, due to transportation problems, I'm being derided for this, as well.
As one person trying to tend to two young boys and find employment, it doesn't work out well. Being asked: "How many white-haired old ladies do you see taking care of their grandchildren?" just tells me there's no desire to help.
Instead of seeing me as a disappointment, because of my difference, I would like to be viewed by my parents as someone they actually care about.
I know the Bible says to honor our parents, but it also says that parents shouldn't provoke their children to frustration/anger.
I ask that these abusers either be changed, believing in The Bible they read, understanding that God is love, not just removing snippets of laws, adhering to Old Testament ways, but looking at The New Covenant that tells us to love one another as Our Lord has loved us. (One belongs to an 'Armstrong Church of God' splinter group; the other to non-denominational; wherein, there's church attendance for a brief period until: The elders discover who that person really is, or that person finds the wrong person in the church who betrays, then the brief period of church-going ends. As good as it is to fellowship among brethren, it's more important to maintain a personal relationship with Him.
I ask for prayer that someone be placed in our lives that could and WOULD help.
I also ask for these negative feelings to be released; otherwise, I'll never move forward, which I so badly want to for my children's sake. This isn't just from recently: It's a lifetime of abuse that seems never-ending.
Our current situation could've been remedied 2.5 years ago, but have been promised help from people who wound up telling me they wouldn't help after having promised such.
Perhaps this is what is holding my family's miracle back: The resentment and anger. I have worked on letting it go very hard, but the cycle regenerates every time I talk to these people, and NOT talking to them is not talking to one of them at least is not an option.
Having nearly completed all my prerequisites to get into the Respiratory Therapy Program, I was told by my mother that I should "...just quit school and get a job at the hospital." I continued, despite this demand. I was promised $5,000 from an inheritance, which never came to fruition. Instead, I was told it was given to other relative who have an overabundance...enough to supply them with the luxuries of 5 vehicles, (custom/classic) all the marijuana they can smoke and two bottles of champagne a night. (Yes, I'm being highly-detailed, but I MUST get rid of these negative feelings!!!) After that fact was revealed, my mother stated that she "...[felt] so much better...." having told me about it.
I have been degraded the same for working and going to school, because my boys had to go to daycare, being told "Cat's in the Cradle." Now that I can't find employment, due to transportation problems, I'm being derided for this, as well.
As one person trying to tend to two young boys and find employment, it doesn't work out well. Being asked: "How many white-haired old ladies do you see taking care of their grandchildren?" just tells me there's no desire to help.
Instead of seeing me as a disappointment, because of my difference, I would like to be viewed by my parents as someone they actually care about.
I know the Bible says to honor our parents, but it also says that parents shouldn't provoke their children to frustration/anger.
I ask that these abusers either be changed, believing in The Bible they read, understanding that God is love, not just removing snippets of laws, adhering to Old Testament ways, but looking at The New Covenant that tells us to love one another as Our Lord has loved us. (One belongs to an 'Armstrong Church of God' splinter group; the other to non-denominational; wherein, there's church attendance for a brief period until: The elders discover who that person really is, or that person finds the wrong person in the church who betrays, then the brief period of church-going ends. As good as it is to fellowship among brethren, it's more important to maintain a personal relationship with Him.
I ask for prayer that someone be placed in our lives that could and WOULD help.
I also ask for these negative feelings to be released; otherwise, I'll never move forward, which I so badly want to for my children's sake. This isn't just from recently: It's a lifetime of abuse that seems never-ending.
