Confession, urgent requests

[beauté de l'intérieur]

I’m very ashamed as I post this, but I need to get it off my chest. I know Jesus has already forgiven me, and humbly ask your prayers of restoration. I was in another cycle of backsliding recently. It always begins with less praying, reading the Word, worshipping, going to church, just not seeking Him like we’re commanded to. When we’re not fully armored, the enemy jumps at every opportunity, of course, and I’ve been so easily beset by sin. I start thinking and talking like I used to when I was of the world. A totally different person than who God has been making me into. A person I don’t like. A person I’m scared of. Right before I came to school I stayed with my cousins for a few months. I really wanted to see them, but I knew I shouldn’t go while I was in a bad place spiritually because I wouldn’t be a good witness or example. I went anyway. The place my cousin moved to is a big city, which I’m not used to. There’s a huge nightlife there. I slid into the carnal, the “easy”. I drank alcohol and smoked weed and took substances without even knowing what was in them. I haven’t been reckless like this since I was a lost, depressed teen. This is worse because God has shown me so much since then. I knew better. I wasn’t even pressured to do it; my cousins stopped offering a while back because they knew I wouldn’t drink, wouldn’t try drugs. I haven’t given them my testimony yet, I felt like I didn’t know the words to say, and I’ve been scared. But I should’ve. I thank God that he prevented me from getting drunk, I just felt tipsy and “off”. As soon as I got high the first time, I broke down into tears. I know it’s because I grieved His Spirit. There was no high, no pretty hallucination, even if there had been it wouldn’t be worth it. Sin is NEVER fun like the enemy makes us think it will be. He gives the least amount of pleasure he can to bring us deeper and deeper into bondage and then he gives the most pain he can. He HATES us, not because we have anything on our own to be envious of, but because we’re made in HIS image, and as Christians we reflect HIS glory and love. There’s this thing that happens when you smoke weed. It's called “stuck”. They say it’s hyper-focus, but you feel heavy, foggy, you don’t move. Your thoughts are fast, but anxious. I’ve heard weed has medicinal uses and maybe some people need it, and I know they think it helps with stress, but I saw my teenage cousin whose brain of course is still developing, getting high and watching tv or sleeping every day instead of doing her homework or anything to develop as a young woman. If anything, it made her anxiety worse. It’s unbearable to watch her go through some of the same things I went through with body-image and depression and feel helpless. One time one of our guests was talking about religion and spiritualism and Islam and I knew he was wrong and I should’ve said something but I was “stuck” and we were all high.

So I started college distant from the Lord and not caring about the things I should. Since I hadn’t been kissing Jesus recently, I was lonely. I joined the first group of friends I met here, which involved more partying. I’m thankful for his mercies because there were so many opportunities to do a lot worse and I know I would’ve. I start lying continually when I’m in that place bc I’m pretending to be the person I was when I was into wicca and morbid things, when I was “interesting” and “open-minded”. It isn’t easy anymore, though, because I hear this guilty voice in my mind the whole time. Someone asked me if I’m a Christian and I said, teasingly, “sometimes”. I let myself be naïve and thought hanging out with men wasn’t dating, but I gave the wrong impression and they expected sex. Again, I thank God that he prevented anything serious from happening bc I want to stay pure and wait for my husband. However, I did send nudes to someone untrustworthy with my face in them and he saved them to his phone. I’m terrified now he’ll show them to anyone. My class attendance and grades suffered this semester. I had a small surgery and we prayed and it went well, but I had a bad reaction to the medications. Thankfully, God convicted me, picked me up, helped me let go of the wrong friends and turn to Him again. My mom touched some olive oil to my head and my Dad prayed for me to be healed. On the stairs of my apartment, I tripped with the thick glass olive oil bottle in my hands and sliced my thumb open. I couldn’t see what had happened. I just felt dazed and saw blood. My phone was in my apartment. Praise Christ, my Mom saw, I thought they’d already driven away. On the way to the hospital, I sobbed like a child, not because of pain, but bc I felt like God was distant and asked my Dad if he was still angry with me. When I ask my Dad spiritual questions, I always ask God to speak through him. He told me that he wasn’t angry, to remember His goodness. My Dad confessed that he has been in the flesh too and not doing a good job praying for his family and keeping us covered as our head under Christ. I know it’s not my Dad’s fault, it just makes a world of difference when he’s seeking God and able to intercede for us. My Dad asked me to keep him covered in prayer as well. Please join me:

Father, please make my Dad believe you can undo all his mistakes and make him even greater than he would've been. Multiply all his spiritual gifts/fruits and enable him to wait on you without distraction. Soundness of mind. Visions, dreams, prophecy, speaking in tongues, and interpretation. Bless him with long life to continue edifying future generations. Like Solomon, exceeding wisdom and understanding, and largeness of heart, even as the sand that is on the seashore. Boldness to share the gospel. To know whether he’s meant to have a YouTube channel to share your word. Power to tear down strongholds for our family and others, keep receiving revelation and teaching it to us, and hear from you more and more directly!

I’m so sorry Jesus, for being like an unfaithful wife and ignoring your inner voice. I’m not a Christian “sometimes”. I’m your daughter eternally. Please turn our faces back towards yours. Keep our feet from slipping. Thank you that the ligament of my thumb wasn’t cut like the doctors thought and another surgery wasn’t necessary. Give us confidence you’ve heard our prayers and not let a word of them fall to the ground. Bind what you want bound in earth and heaven and loose what you want loosed. Help us love you with all of our hearts, minds, souls, might, and strength. With NOTHING held back. Sold out for Jesus! Forgive us for hesitating to share your gospel and praises. I know you’ve been merciful in even more ways that we realize. Please, I beg you, don’t let me lose my scholarship and have to leave school. I really want to be here and learn and witness and make friends. Please, I’ve worshipped you before with the song you gave me that says you make a hundred billion failures disappear. I’m not good enough, or strong enough, or smart enough. I’m weak. But your word says power is perfected in weakness. Perfect your power in our weakness. Glorify yourself in allowing us to remain in the land you’ve given us. My dad prophesied you’ve given me spiritual “land” here at my college. Please help us drive the enemy out. Re-establish my parents’ mortgage and cancel their debts. Grant compassion and favor from all our teachers/bosses and allow me to take any quizzes, tests, or assignments of any kind that I missed. Please even grant extra credit in all our courses now and in the future. Create in us new hearts. Wake us early to seek Your Holy Face. Help us seek You at night. Help us study and share Your Word. Let our worship be acceptable sacrifice Your Holy Fire falls on every time. Let us forgive our enemies and forget. Help us pray for them as David did. Like he was praying for his own sick mother. Gift me with encouraging/comforting/nurturing gifts please. Help me never cause stress, anxiety, discouragement to my parents or anyone else. Help me and my brother be financially independent from them. Rescue my brother’s soul and provide scholarships for him and others too please. Make us honor students who give You alone credit. Save our cousins and all our loved ones. Purify us. Send us God-fearing friends who are super fun without drugs, drinks, etc. Let our worship be acceptable sacrifice Your Holy Fire falls on every time <3

Thank you, amen! Yet, not our will, but yours.

 

[Daoranris]

I prayed for this in Jesus Name. Amen.

 

[Daoranris]

I’m very ashamed as I post this, but I need to get it off my chest. I know Jesus has already forgiven me, and humbly ask your prayers of restoration. I was in another cycle of backsliding recently. It always begins with less praying, reading the Word, worshipping, going to church, just not seeking Him like we’re commanded to. When we’re not fully armored, the enemy jumps at every opportunity, of course, and I’ve been so easily beset by sin. I start thinking and talking like I used to when I was of the world. A totally different person than who God has been making me into. A person I don’t like. A person I’m scared of. Right before I came to school I stayed with my cousins for a few months. I really wanted to see them, but I knew I shouldn’t go while I was in a bad place spiritually because I wouldn’t be a good witness or example. I went anyway. The place my cousin moved to is a big city, which I’m not used to. There’s a huge nightlife there. I slid into the carnal, the “easy”. I drank alcohol and smoked weed and took substances without even knowing what was in them. I haven’t been reckless like this since I was a lost, depressed teen. This is worse because God has shown me so much since then. I knew better. I wasn’t even pressured to do it; my cousins stopped offering a while back because they knew I wouldn’t drink, wouldn’t try drugs. I haven’t given them my testimony yet, I felt like I didn’t know the words to say, and I’ve been scared. But I should’ve. I thank God that he prevented me from getting drunk, I just felt tipsy and “off”. As soon as I got high the first time, I broke down into tears. I know it’s because I grieved His Spirit. There was no high, no pretty hallucination, even if there had been it wouldn’t be worth it. Sin is NEVER fun like the enemy makes us think it will be. He gives the least amount of pleasure he can to bring us deeper and deeper into bondage and then he gives the most pain he can. He HATES us, not because we have anything on our own to be envious of, but because we’re made in HIS image, and as Christians we reflect HIS glory and love. There’s this thing that happens when you smoke weed. It's called “stuck”. They say it’s hyper-focus, but you feel heavy, foggy, you don’t move. Your thoughts are fast, but anxious. I’ve heard weed has medicinal uses and maybe some people need it, and I know they think it helps with stress, but I saw my teenage cousin whose brain of course is still developing, getting high and watching tv or sleeping every day instead of doing her homework or anything to develop as a young woman. If anything, it made her anxiety worse. It’s unbearable to watch her go through some of the same things I went through with body-image and depression and feel helpless. One time one of our guests was talking about religion and spiritualism and Islam and I knew he was wrong and I should’ve said something but I was “stuck” and we were all high.

So I started college distant from the Lord and not caring about the things I should. Since I hadn’t been kissing Jesus recently, I was lonely. I joined the first group of friends I met here, which involved more partying. I’m thankful for his mercies because there were so many opportunities to do a lot worse and I know I would’ve. I start lying continually when I’m in that place bc I’m pretending to be the person I was when I was into wicca and morbid things, when I was “interesting” and “open-minded”. It isn’t easy anymore, though, because I hear this guilty voice in my mind the whole time. Someone asked me if I’m a Christian and I said, teasingly, “sometimes”. I let myself be naïve and thought hanging out with men wasn’t dating, but I gave the wrong impression and they expected sex. Again, I thank God that he prevented anything serious from happening bc I want to stay pure and wait for my husband. However, I did send nudes to someone untrustworthy with my face in them and he saved them to his phone. I’m terrified now he’ll show them to anyone. My class attendance and grades suffered this semester. I had a small surgery and we prayed and it went well, but I had a bad reaction to the medications. Thankfully, God convicted me, picked me up, helped me let go of the wrong friends and turn to Him again. My mom touched some olive oil to my head and my Dad prayed for me to be healed. On the stairs of my apartment, I tripped with the thick glass olive oil bottle in my hands and sliced my thumb open. I couldn’t see what had happened. I just felt dazed and saw blood. My phone was in my apartment. Praise Christ, my Mom saw, I thought they’d already driven away. On the way to the hospital, I sobbed like a child, not because of pain, but bc I felt like God was distant and asked my Dad if he was still angry with me. When I ask my Dad spiritual questions, I always ask God to speak through him. He told me that he wasn’t angry, to remember His goodness. My Dad confessed that he has been in the flesh too and not doing a good job praying for his family and keeping us covered as our head under Christ. I know it’s not my Dad’s fault, it just makes a world of difference when he’s seeking God and able to intercede for us. My Dad asked me to keep him covered in prayer as well. Please join me:

Father, please make my Dad believe you can undo all his mistakes and make him even greater than he would've been. Multiply all his spiritual gifts/fruits and enable him to wait on you without distraction. Soundness of mind. Visions, dreams, prophecy, speaking in tongues, and interpretation. Bless him with long life to continue edifying future generations. Like Solomon, exceeding wisdom and understanding, and largeness of heart, even as the sand that is on the seashore. Boldness to share the gospel. To know whether he’s meant to have a YouTube channel to share your word. Power to tear down strongholds for our family and others, keep receiving revelation and teaching it to us, and hear from you more and more directly!

I’m so sorry Jesus, for being like an unfaithful wife and ignoring your inner voice. I’m not a Christian “sometimes”. I’m your daughter eternally. Please turn our faces back towards yours. Keep our feet from slipping. Thank you that the ligament of my thumb wasn’t cut like the doctors thought and another surgery wasn’t necessary. Give us confidence you’ve heard our prayers and not let a word of them fall to the ground. Bind what you want bound in earth and heaven and loose what you want loosed. Help us love you with all of our hearts, minds, souls, might, and strength. With NOTHING held back. Sold out for Jesus! Forgive us for hesitating to share your gospel and praises. I know you’ve been merciful in even more ways that we realize. Please, I beg you, don’t let me lose my scholarship and have to leave school. I really want to be here and learn and witness and make friends. Please, I’ve worshipped you before with the song you gave me that says you make a hundred billion failures disappear. I’m not good enough, or strong enough, or smart enough. I’m weak. But your word says power is perfected in weakness. Perfect your power in our weakness. Glorify yourself in allowing us to remain in the land you’ve given us. My dad prophesied you’ve given me spiritual “land” here at my college. Please help us drive the enemy out. Re-establish my parents’ mortgage and cancel their debts. Grant compassion and favor from all our teachers/bosses and allow me to take any quizzes, tests, or assignments of any kind that I missed. Please even grant extra credit in all our courses now and in the future. Create in us new hearts. Wake us early to seek Your Holy Face. Help us seek You at night. Help us study and share Your Word. Let our worship be acceptable sacrifice Your Holy Fire falls on every time. Let us forgive our enemies and forget. Help us pray for them as David did. Like he was praying for his own sick mother. Gift me with encouraging/comforting/nurturing gifts please. Help me never cause stress, anxiety, discouragement to my parents or anyone else. Help me and my brother be financially independent from them. Rescue my brother’s soul and provide scholarships for him and others too please. Make us honor students who give You alone credit. Save our cousins and all our loved ones. Purify us. Send us God-fearing friends who are super fun without drugs, drinks, etc. Let our worship be acceptable sacrifice Your Holy Fire falls on every time <3

Thank you, amen! Yet, not our will, but yours.

God’s Love Letter to You;

My Child

You may not know me, but I know everything about you. Psalm 139:1
I know when you sit down and when you rise up Psalm 139:2
I am familiar with all your ways…Psalm 139:3
Even the very hairs on your head are numbered…Matthew 10:29-31
For you were made in my image…Genesis 1:27
In me you live and move and have your being.Acts 17:28
I knew you even before you were conceived…Jeremiah 1:4-5
I chose you when I planned creation. Ephesians 1:11-12
You were not a mistake…Psalm 139:15-16
For all your days are written in my book…Psalm 139:15-16
I determined the exact time of your birth and where you would live…Acts 17:26
You are fearfully and wonderfully made. Psalm 139:14
I knit you together in your mother’s womb. Psalm 139:13
And brought you forth on the day your were born…Psalm 71:6
I have been misrepresented by those who don’t know me…John 8:41-44
I am not distant and angry, but am the complete expression of love…1 John 4:16
And it is my desire to lavish my love on you. 1 John 3:1
Simply because you are my child and I am your Father…1 John 3:1
I offer you more than your earthly father ever could…Matthew 7:11
For I am the perfect Father…Matthew 5:48
Every good gift that you receive comes from my hand James 1:17
For I am your provider and I meet all your needs. Matthew 6:31-33
My plan for your future has always been filled with hope…Jeremiah 29:11
Because I love you with an everlasting love. Jeremiah 31:3
My thoughts toward you are countless as the sand on the seashore…Psalm 139:17-18
And I rejoice over you with singing…Zephaniah 3:17
I will never stop doing well to you…Jeremiah 32:40
For you are my treasured possession…Exodus 19:5
I desire to establish you with all my heart and all my soul…Jeremiah 32:41
And I want to show you great and marvelous things. Jeremiah 33:3
If you seek me with all your heart, you will find me. Deuteronomy 4:29
Delight in me and I will give you the desires of your heart…Psalm 37:4
For it is I who gave you those desires. Philippians 2:13
I am able to do more for you than you could possibly imagine…Ephesians 3:20
For I am your greatest encourager. 2 Thessalonians 2:16-17
I am also the Father who comforts you in all your troubles…2 Corinthians 1:3-4
When you are brokenhearted, I am close to you. Psalm 34:18
As a shepherd carries a lamb, I have carried you close to my heart…Isaiah 40:11
One day I will wipe away every tear from your eyes Revelation 21:3-4
And I’ll take away all the pain you have suffered on this earth…Revelation 21:4
I am your Father and I love you even as I love my son, Jesus…John 17:23
For in Jesus my love for you is revealed…John 17:26
He is the exact representation of my being. Hebrews 1:3
He came to demonstrate that I am for you, not against you…Romans 8:31
And to tell you that I am not counting your sins. 2 Corinthians 5:18-19
His death was the ultimate expression of my love for you…1 John 4:10
And I’ll take away all the pain you have suffered on this earth…Revelation 21:4
I am your Father and I love you even as I love my son, Jesus…John 17:23
For in Jesus my love for you is revealed…John 17:26
He is the exact representation of my being. Hebrews 1:3
He came to demonstrate that I am for you, not against you…Romans 8:31
And to tell you that I am not counting your sins. 2 Corinthians 5:18-19
His death was the ultimate expression of my love for you…1 John 4:10
I gave up everything I loved that I might gain your love…Romans 8:32
If you receive the gift of my son Jesus, you receive me…1 John 2:23
And nothing will ever separate you from my love again…Romans 8:38-39
Come home and I’ll throw the biggest party heaven has ever seen…Luke 15:7
I have always been Father and always will be Father Ephesians 3:14-15
My question is…Will you be my child?...John 1:12-13
I am waiting for you…Luke 15:11-32

Love, Your Dad
Almighty God

Almighty God

This is who God says we are:

2COR.5:20

Therefore we are ambassadors for Christ, as though God were making His plea through us. We plead with you on Christ's behalf, "Be reconciled to God!"
​

1 Peter 2:9​

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9 But you are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, His own special people, that you may proclaim the praises of Him who called you out of darkness into His marvelous light.​

 

[Brother James]

Praying for you in Jesus.

We can do everything Jesus did and more! We can speak; sickness leave in Jesus! Be healed by Jesus stripes! I am healed by Jesus stripes! Amen! Thank You Lord Jesus!

You can copy and paste this to pray every day and share...

There is nothing that happens for us that is bad. All things work for our good in Jesus! Look at everything as good!

Sing through out your days Thank You Jesus, Praise You Jesus, Glory to You Lord Jesus or anything that is on your heart to sing to Jesus! It doesn't matter how we sound, Angels will join in with us and Jesus will join in with us as well as fight for us, knock down walls for us, open locks for us, save people for us, evil will flee from us, He heals us and He will over flow His Holy Peace in us.

Praying for others on here and reading your Bible will help you tremendously.

I wanted to commit suicide once, I even came up with a plan. Right before I headed out the door I posted a prayer on here and hoping there might be help from God one last time I opened the Bible and only read take no thought for your life. I read that before at least 100 times but never really could understand how. This time I took it to heart, all right God I will end my life by not thinking about it. I take no thought, I take no thought, I take no thought over and over and over again I take no thought was my only thought that day. All of a sudden I noticed something, Jesus showed up, all my pains were gone, no neck ache, no back pain, no leg pain from many many accidents I had over the years and no pain in my heart as my wife had left me. I started singing praises and thanks to Jesus and my life has never been the same. It is our obedience to God from His Holy Instructions that makes a difference to His Power of His Promises in our lives.

Be a doer of Jesus friend, it really makes a difference! Thank You Lord Jesus!

Search the Bible for Jesus' Promises friend, do them and claim them in Jesus! Amen! Thank You Lord Jesus!

Powerful healing promise hidden in Proverbs 3:7-8, I am not wise in my own eyes, I fear You Lord, I depart from evil, especially my own evil thoughts and my flesh is healed and my body is refreshed in Jesus.

Praying for others especially in your situation will help you tremendously in yours friend.

Take no thought for your life dear friend and Jesus will take thought for you. Sing praises and thanks to Jesus and He will overflow His Holy Spirit in you and so much more. He will fight for you and give you the desires of your heart.

Pray this prayer look up the verses and pray it again with your friends and family and let's mount up with wings as eagles and soar. Soar with me.

Let Us Pray: God I ask in Jesus' name, bless me to grow closer to You. I long for a more intimate relationship with You. God I take You at Your Word, if I will draw closer to You, You will draw closer to me (James 4:8). Show me how to draw closer to You. Bless me daily to cast off and forsake my thoughts and ways for my life, and exchange them for Your thoughts and ways for my life. Let me think Your thoughts and dream Your dreams for my life. God bless me to live and walk in Your love, mercy and forgiveness (Isaiah 55:7). I confess, I will take no thought for my life. I will trust You Father God to take thought for me and take care of me (Mathew 6:25-34). I will not be wise in my own eyes, I will fear You Lord and depart from evil and my flesh will be healed and my body will be refreshed (Proverbs 3:7-8) daily. Thank You Jesus for Your Promises! Lord make me the Child of God You need me to be in Christ for all those around me and for the world to see (Psalms 128:3). Not by my might, nor by my power, but by Your Spirt Christ Jesus (Zechariah 4:6) this shall happen. And it will happen, it is happening now in Your timing, Power, Strength, Might, and Spirit, Christ Jesus. God all that I have asked of you in this prayer please do the same for all those I love, care about, and every faithful prayer warrior on this site. Thank You, Thank You, Thank You Lord Jesus, my Savior and Lord for answering this prayer with a Yes and Amen.

Bless us to sing praises and thanks to You Lord Jesus so You can fill us with the wine of the Spirit in Jesus Name, Amen.

 

[The Encourager]

I have asked God in Jesus' name to answer your prayer request according to God's perfect love, wisdom, will, timing, grace, and mercy.

Have a Prayerful, Thankful, Grateful, Blessed Christmas and a Successful Prosperous New Year In Christ Jesus. God Is So In Love With You.

A Prayer For You And Your Love Ones: God I ask You in Jesus' name bless me and all those I love and care about to accept the gift of salvation through Christ Jesus. Save us all Lord Jesus and become our Savior and Lord. God may we all come to know, love, and obey You. Bless us with love, power, a sound mind, and excellent health. Heal us Lord Jesus in all areas of our lives. Bless us with knowledge, wisdom, and understanding of the things of God and the purpose you created each of us for. Bless us with the desire to seek Your face, embrace, and surrender to Your will. Give us the desire and cause us to meditate upon Your Word daily. God bless us with the strength and spirit of obedience to be doers of Your Word and not just hearers and readers of Your Word. God bless us with Your joy, peace, protection, prosperity, and success in Christ Jesus. Rain down blessings from heaven and the favor of God upon each of our lives so that we will be blessed and be a blessing. Let each of us be a light in this dark world, lifting You up in the lifestyle we each live. God all that I have asked of You in this prayer, please do the same for the writer of this prayer and all those who truly want Your best for me. God Thank You. Thank You. Thank You, Lord Jesus. Amen, so be it by faith, and by faith, it is so in Jesus' name. Prayer was written by Encourager Linda Flagg, M.A., Board Certified Professional Christian Life Coach.

 

[hostadmin]

Thank you for giving us the privilege to pray on your behalf. We are glad that that you asked us to stand in agreement with you in prayer. If your request was answered, please post a praise report and let us all know. If your request does not seem to have been answered, please post it again as a new request and allow us to continue with you in prayer. We all hope that our prayers are answered in the way that we want. Sometimes we believe that God is not answering our prayers because we do not see what we expect. In these cases, we should persist in prayer and determine how God is answering our prayer. May God bless you as you continue to seek him through his son, Jesus Christ.

 

[Fleyemaed]

I’m very ashamed as I post this, but I need to get it off my chest. I know Jesus has already forgiven me, and humbly ask your prayers of restoration. I was in another cycle of backsliding recently. It always begins with less praying, reading the Word, worshipping, going to church, just not seeking Him like we’re commanded to. When we’re not fully armored, the enemy jumps at every opportunity, of course, and I’ve been so easily beset by sin. I start thinking and talking like I used to when I was of the world. A totally different person than who God has been making me into. A person I don’t like. A person I’m scared of. Right before I came to school I stayed with my cousins for a few months. I really wanted to see them, but I knew I shouldn’t go while I was in a bad place spiritually because I wouldn’t be a good witness or example. I went anyway. The place my cousin moved to is a big city, which I’m not used to. There’s a huge nightlife there. I slid into the carnal, the “easy”. I drank alcohol and smoked weed and took substances without even knowing what was in them. I haven’t been reckless like this since I was a lost, depressed teen. This is worse because God has shown me so much since then. I knew better. I wasn’t even pressured to do it; my cousins stopped offering a while back because they knew I wouldn’t drink, wouldn’t try drugs. I haven’t given them my testimony yet, I felt like I didn’t know the words to say, and I’ve been scared. But I should’ve. I thank God that he prevented me from getting drunk, I just felt tipsy and “off”. As soon as I got high the first time, I broke down into tears. I know it’s because I grieved His Spirit. There was no high, no pretty hallucination, even if there had been it wouldn’t be worth it. Sin is NEVER fun like the enemy makes us think it will be. He gives the least amount of pleasure he can to bring us deeper and deeper into bondage and then he gives the most pain he can. He HATES us, not because we have anything on our own to be envious of, but because we’re made in HIS image, and as Christians we reflect HIS glory and love. There’s this thing that happens when you smoke weed. It's called “stuck”. They say it’s hyper-focus, but you feel heavy, foggy, you don’t move. Your thoughts are fast, but anxious. I’ve heard weed has medicinal uses and maybe some people need it, and I know they think it helps with stress, but I saw my teenage cousin whose brain of course is still developing, getting high and watching tv or sleeping every day instead of doing her homework or anything to develop as a young woman. If anything, it made her anxiety worse. It’s unbearable to watch her go through some of the same things I went through with body-image and depression and feel helpless. One time one of our guests was talking about religion and spiritualism and Islam and I knew he was wrong and I should’ve said something but I was “stuck” and we were all high.

So I started college distant from the Lord and not caring about the things I should. Since I hadn’t been kissing Jesus recently, I was lonely. I joined the first group of friends I met here, which involved more partying. I’m thankful for his mercies because there were so many opportunities to do a lot worse and I know I would’ve. I start lying continually when I’m in that place bc I’m pretending to be the person I was when I was into wicca and morbid things, when I was “interesting” and “open-minded”. It isn’t easy anymore, though, because I hear this guilty voice in my mind the whole time. Someone asked me if I’m a Christian and I said, teasingly, “sometimes”. I let myself be naïve and thought hanging out with men wasn’t dating, but I gave the wrong impression and they expected sex. Again, I thank God that he prevented anything serious from happening bc I want to stay pure and wait for my husband. However, I did send nudes to someone untrustworthy with my face in them and he saved them to his phone. I’m terrified now he’ll show them to anyone. My class attendance and grades suffered this semester. I had a small surgery and we prayed and it went well, but I had a bad reaction to the medications. Thankfully, God convicted me, picked me up, helped me let go of the wrong friends and turn to Him again. My mom touched some olive oil to my head and my Dad prayed for me to be healed. On the stairs of my apartment, I tripped with the thick glass olive oil bottle in my hands and sliced my thumb open. I couldn’t see what had happened. I just felt dazed and saw blood. My phone was in my apartment. Praise Christ, my Mom saw, I thought they’d already driven away. On the way to the hospital, I sobbed like a child, not because of pain, but bc I felt like God was distant and asked my Dad if he was still angry with me. When I ask my Dad spiritual questions, I always ask God to speak through him. He told me that he wasn’t angry, to remember His goodness. My Dad confessed that he has been in the flesh too and not doing a good job praying for his family and keeping us covered as our head under Christ. I know it’s not my Dad’s fault, it just makes a world of difference when he’s seeking God and able to intercede for us. My Dad asked me to keep him covered in prayer as well. Please join me:

Father, please make my Dad believe you can undo all his mistakes and make him even greater than he would've been. Multiply all his spiritual gifts/fruits and enable him to wait on you without distraction. Soundness of mind. Visions, dreams, prophecy, speaking in tongues, and interpretation. Bless him with long life to continue edifying future generations. Like Solomon, exceeding wisdom and understanding, and largeness of heart, even as the sand that is on the seashore. Boldness to share the gospel. To know whether he’s meant to have a YouTube channel to share your word. Power to tear down strongholds for our family and others, keep receiving revelation and teaching it to us, and hear from you more and more directly!

I’m so sorry Jesus, for being like an unfaithful wife and ignoring your inner voice. I’m not a Christian “sometimes”. I’m your daughter eternally. Please turn our faces back towards yours. Keep our feet from slipping. Thank you that the ligament of my thumb wasn’t cut like the doctors thought and another surgery wasn’t necessary. Give us confidence you’ve heard our prayers and not let a word of them fall to the ground. Bind what you want bound in earth and heaven and loose what you want loosed. Help us love you with all of our hearts, minds, souls, might, and strength. With NOTHING held back. Sold out for Jesus! Forgive us for hesitating to share your gospel and praises. I know you’ve been merciful in even more ways that we realize. Please, I beg you, don’t let me lose my scholarship and have to leave school. I really want to be here and learn and witness and make friends. Please, I’ve worshipped you before with the song you gave me that says you make a hundred billion failures disappear. I’m not good enough, or strong enough, or smart enough. I’m weak. But your word says power is perfected in weakness. Perfect your power in our weakness. Glorify yourself in allowing us to remain in the land you’ve given us. My dad prophesied you’ve given me spiritual “land” here at my college. Please help us drive the enemy out. Re-establish my parents’ mortgage and cancel their debts. Grant compassion and favor from all our teachers/bosses and allow me to take any quizzes, tests, or assignments of any kind that I missed. Please even grant extra credit in all our courses now and in the future. Create in us new hearts. Wake us early to seek Your Holy Face. Help us seek You at night. Help us study and share Your Word. Let our worship be acceptable sacrifice Your Holy Fire falls on every time. Let us forgive our enemies and forget. Help us pray for them as David did. Like he was praying for his own sick mother. Gift me with encouraging/comforting/nurturing gifts please. Help me never cause stress, anxiety, discouragement to my parents or anyone else. Help me and my brother be financially independent from them. Rescue my brother’s soul and provide scholarships for him and others too please. Make us honor students who give You alone credit. Save our cousins and all our loved ones. Purify us. Send us God-fearing friends who are super fun without drugs, drinks, etc. Let our worship be acceptable sacrifice Your Holy Fire falls on every time <3

Thank you, amen! Yet, not our will, but yours.

Sorry could read the entire story but here is a word of wisdom...as a man thinks in his heart so is he in the world. 2 what u need is to learn and understand grace starting with letters of Paul. 3 just focus on receiving grace and know dat all ur sins are paid for so focus on receiving this grace and I'll be fine