cant take any more of this double mindedness and schitzophrenia

Thank you for giving us the privilege to pray on your behalf. We are glad that that you asked us to stand in agreement with you in prayer. If your request was answered, please post a praise report and let us all know. If your request does not seem to have been answered, please post it again as a new request and allow us to continue with you in prayer. We all hope that our prayers are answered in the way that we want. Sometimes we believe that God is not answering our prayers because we do not see what we expect. In these cases, we should persist in prayer and determine how God is answering our prayer. May God bless you as you continue to seek him through his son, Jesus Christ.
 
it says in the book of James let not the double minded think he shall receive anything. Half the time I really love Jesus and believe He who begun a good work in me will be faithful to complete it but the rest of the time I feel like He will hate me and I confess sometimes I have such terrible thoughts of anger and rage towards Him. I just want to be the faithful clay in the hands of the Potter but I get consumed with wondering whys and doubts about why this world is so hard especially for persecuted Christians and the destitute in what they call the 3rd world and I hate Him for sending people to hell even though I know its wrong and we dont have to understand to trust I just cant control my thoughts and then the demons get on me and think 100 times worse really blasphamous thoughts. I cant stop chain smoking even though I know its such a sin I just feel so stressed out I know its killing me physically and spiritually i can hardly breathe im coughing like mad everytime I have one and I have terrible pains in my heart and chest, I have tried many times to stop but i dont succeed the most I managed was 5 days a couple of months ago when I felt Jesus loving presence. I know He said in the Bible some evil spirits only come out with prayer and fasting and i am trying to fast especially because its also Lent but the most I managed was 6 days and Im trying to fast for 21 days. Please please pray this over me from the book of Hosea - and I will heal their backsliding and love them freely for my anger is turned away from them. Thanks so much for praying.
Praying for peace over you. May the Lord give you peace that surpasses all understanding. I pray that you will trust in God and that he will show himself to you in a mighty way. In Jesus name, amen
 

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