Let's continue to lift up Smilee for complete healing from surgery. "He sent His word and healed them" (Ps. 107:20). Praying for no stiffness, a strengthened and straightened knee, and a perfect walk. Trusting Jesus for a quick return to work. In His name! 
Mouldham
Disciple of Prayer
My name is Eric. I've been very lonely for a long time. I haven't been in a loving relationship for over 15 years. I spent most of my 20s playing music and trying to become successful. I had alcohol problems and wound up getting 4 DUIs and spent 15 months in jail. When I got out I spent lots of time with myself and learning how to live a sober life. I've been sober almost 8 years now and I'm doing great. Within the last few years, I've had the desire to have someone to share my life with. I've started doing online dating a little over two years ago. Within that time I've been on 28 dates. And nothing has worked out. Almost every person I would date would vanish. One girl wanted only a sexual relationship, but I loved her. It fell apart and my heart was broken. I got in another relationship and we had one mild disagreement and she left me. My heart was broken again. I recently developed feelings for someone else. We went on one date and I felt close to her. We kissed and it felt like she was the one for me. She came over a few weeks later and we kissed again. It felt so right. We ended up having sex. It meant so much to me. Then she vanished. My heart was broken again. So I started dating others again. I went on 4 more dates and all of them weren't interested. Yesterday I went on a date, and things were going well. But she doesn't respond now that the date's over. Today I went on a date with another person. I met her for coffee. As soon as I saw her she acted weird when I introduced myself. She seemed cold, distant, and annoyed. I went to order my coffee as she sat down at the table. While waiting for my coffee she came up to me and said she had to leave, that her mom called. I knew it was a lie. I laughed and said ok, no worries. She immediately left and blocked me on the messaging app. Out of all my dates, I've never had anything like that happen to me. It was at the moment I realized, this isn't working. I've tried so hard to find love and have only been given heartbreak and misery. I give up. I have nothing left inside. My heart has been broken so many times, it is now a fine powder and there's no repair for that. The path that I've been on has reached the end. The past few weeks I have been praying to God to bring the right person into my life. And after being rejected twice this weekend and treated with such disrespect, I have been completely broken. It was then that I realized I was missing the keystone. Jesus. I've been praying to God, but not Jesus. I had forgotten how weak I am, and that Jesus is the only one to help me. Jesus is the only way back to God. I fell on my knees to Jesus. My life as I know it is over. I've given it completely to Jesus. I don't care about pursuing love anymore. I only care about having Jesus in my life. Without him, I am nothing at all. Literally. There is absolutely nothing left in me. And so Jesus has come to me. So one of the most tragic and devastating days of my life has in fact become the most glorious and wonderful day of my life. Instead of wallowing in defeat and depression, I'm celebrating that Jesus has found me once again. My prayer is I don't want to fall into darkness ever again. I don't want Jesus to ever leave my side. I want God to lead my life and give me purpose through Jesus.
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