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Haegfaras
Disciple of Prayer
I am stagnant in my business. Nothing seems to be changing and I am getting cancelation notices left and right, my lease is past due and the other is due next week.
I can't seem to see the light of day. It seems as thought the doors are closing. The Lord gave me my business but I know that the word say Romans 11:29 for God’s gifts and his call are irrevocable.
Unless I am misunderstanding the verse. I remain determined to wait on God, he has never forsaken me. I have countless testimony's of Gods work in my life miracles that can only be done by him alone.
Gods says in Matthew 6:34 “Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” But the flesh and the racing thoughts, the constant reminder the clock ticking, is enough to cause anxiety. This week is much better than last week. Although , I have a loving and supportive husband whom says it's ok if I have to close my doors or feel I cannot handle it. But the fact of the matter is that, my husband is still ill. He is recovering from the abscess in the liver. But we haven't received the cat scan results from 3 weeks ago. But the medical reports say he also still has an infection in the liver. This is after being in the hospital beginning of August for a week on antibiotics, then 2 weeks oral antibiotics and another 2 weeks. Did I mention an infection in the lining of the lung and water around the heart?
Which we still do not know if the lungs and heart are better. So yes, I can close my doors and stay home or find another job. But where does that leave me if he were to get really ill again and cant work? Where do I get the money. Or worse and if he were to pass. Yes we have life insurance but it won't last a life time. So, with that being said, that is why I am striving to make my insurance business work. It not a want, it's a need. Not only for myself but to help my customers insure their assets, their livelihood. I think that is why God placed me here to help others. Business is extremely slow. In the 7 years of business, I have never taken out a business loan nor a credit card. I have thought of it to help me bridge the gap, but my fear of being declined holds me back. I know fear is not of God and I rebuke the spirit. “So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” ~Isaiah 41:10 “For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.” ~ 2 Timothy 1:7 “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” ~ Philippians 4:6-7 God affirms it time and time again. Why can't I get past this??? If I know these things, he speaks them to me. Where am I going wrong, I am praying for HIS WILL to be done, On HIS TIMING not my own. If I could just get past this feeling of fear and despair. And I do and after a couple of days, it's back. I could deal with everything else. But, I just don't know what to think, say, do anymore. I feel I have done all I can. I haven't quite given up, but there must be something I'm not doing right or doing at all........... I just don't.......KNOW.
I can't seem to see the light of day. It seems as thought the doors are closing. The Lord gave me my business but I know that the word say Romans 11:29 for God’s gifts and his call are irrevocable.
Unless I am misunderstanding the verse. I remain determined to wait on God, he has never forsaken me. I have countless testimony's of Gods work in my life miracles that can only be done by him alone.
Gods says in Matthew 6:34 “Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” But the flesh and the racing thoughts, the constant reminder the clock ticking, is enough to cause anxiety. This week is much better than last week. Although , I have a loving and supportive husband whom says it's ok if I have to close my doors or feel I cannot handle it. But the fact of the matter is that, my husband is still ill. He is recovering from the abscess in the liver. But we haven't received the cat scan results from 3 weeks ago. But the medical reports say he also still has an infection in the liver. This is after being in the hospital beginning of August for a week on antibiotics, then 2 weeks oral antibiotics and another 2 weeks. Did I mention an infection in the lining of the lung and water around the heart?
Which we still do not know if the lungs and heart are better. So yes, I can close my doors and stay home or find another job. But where does that leave me if he were to get really ill again and cant work? Where do I get the money. Or worse and if he were to pass. Yes we have life insurance but it won't last a life time. So, with that being said, that is why I am striving to make my insurance business work. It not a want, it's a need. Not only for myself but to help my customers insure their assets, their livelihood. I think that is why God placed me here to help others. Business is extremely slow. In the 7 years of business, I have never taken out a business loan nor a credit card. I have thought of it to help me bridge the gap, but my fear of being declined holds me back. I know fear is not of God and I rebuke the spirit. “So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” ~Isaiah 41:10 “For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.” ~ 2 Timothy 1:7 “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” ~ Philippians 4:6-7 God affirms it time and time again. Why can't I get past this??? If I know these things, he speaks them to me. Where am I going wrong, I am praying for HIS WILL to be done, On HIS TIMING not my own. If I could just get past this feeling of fear and despair. And I do and after a couple of days, it's back. I could deal with everything else. But, I just don't know what to think, say, do anymore. I feel I have done all I can. I haven't quite given up, but there must be something I'm not doing right or doing at all........... I just don't.......KNOW.
