Big Giant Fool

[Eric49]

I fell away from God four years ago and two and a half years ago I fell into a sinful relationship with a reprobate woman.

This woman was a heroin addict and a speed addict. I stressed and drove myself to earn money to buy her drugs for two years. She HAD to have her both drugs all day everyday. It nearly ruined me financially. It was stress on top of stress.

She also had legal issues when we met and I didn't have the money for her to get the lawyer she needed so she started dating her ex boyfriend to scam the money out of him. I endured weeks of her going out with this man. It broke my heart and has left deep scars on me.

She got the money and lawyer and got sentenced to 90 days in jail. I paid for her to be comfortable in jail. One day I was going to visit her and I found out she was on work release at her ex boyfriends fruit stand. I nearly died on the spot. I was so betrayed. It devastated me. And I let her continue to work there while incarcerated.

I took care of her 9 year old boy while she was in jail and she did get out and was sober. She wanted a life with me but she wanted to move from her home. I packed up her house and moved it to I new house that I rented.

She was not feeling well at this time and it turned out she had kidney stones. It was a two month ordeal getting the stones removed that cost me 2500 in traveling expenses and she was horrible to be around.

Finally she was free of the kidney stones but relapsed back into drug addiction from the pain medication.

We did not live together in the home because we couldn't get along and she wanted to move back home so I packed the house and moved her to her old house an hour away. Every move cost me hundreds of dollars that meant nothing to her.

She was back in her house and strung out on drugs and wrecked her car all while on probation with a 4 year jail sentence hanging over her head. I finally had enough and I went crazy and called her probation officer. They put her in a halfway house and she is now finally sober after many years, 2.5 years with me.

But it's not over. She is sober,praise God, but she stopped loving me and left me three days ago. I am hurt beyond words. Im barely making it through my days and I have not slept. I was in a car accident yesterday because I my mind is clouded. I'm broken. Everything I went through was for nothing. All that time living with anxiety and stress. For nothing. The tens of thousands of dollars spent only on her!

I don't know how to act. I can't pray. I've never been this way before. I'm in a void. I feel like I'm in a fog. I'm suffering the effects of losing her coupled with the devastating effects of what she did for all that time.

I want The Lord but I can't find him. I need my Lord but I can't call out to him. I'm wounded beyond anything I've ever known before.

I do not use drugs and I do not cheat on my loved one and I am a Christian man that is backslidden from The Lord. I need The Lord to save me in spite of me.

In Jesus name.

 

[Articles]

Our God of peace, you have taught us that in returning and rest we shall be saved, in quietness and in confidence shall be our strength: By the might of your Spirit answer this request, we pray of you, so we may be still and know that you are God; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

 

[MJMoyer]

I prayed for this. In Jesus Name. Amen.

 

[LouisianaLady]

God will take care of you. No problem is greater than he. All things are possible through Christ, and I pray that God has answered and will answer your prayers. To God be the glory. IJNIP Amen

 

[hostadmin]

Thank you for giving us the privilege to pray on your behalf. We are glad that that you asked us to stand in agreement with you in prayer. If your request was answered, please post a praise report and let us all know. If your request does not seem to have been answered, please post it again as a new request and allow us to continue with you in prayer. We all hope that our prayers are answered in the way that we want. Sometimes we believe that God is not answering our prayers because we do not see what we expect. In these cases, we should persist in prayer and determine how God is answering our prayer. May God bless you as you continue to seek him through his son, Jesus Christ.