cesar00
Banned
Yes my friends and prayer warriors, he walks among us. He lives with us, eats with us dreams with us. His best trick has been to make us believe that he does not exist. Well My friends, Lord you know I have seen him, I have lived with him and I have done his deed. Yes My Lord you know me well and you know what I have done and what I have permitted to be done before me. Dear Jesus you have forgiven me for these sins of action and of omission, Lord it took me a long time to forgive myself for these, some of them still haunt my nights, my moments of despairt and saddness. dear jesus today I was jolted back to reality, a good friend and prayer warrior did so, I had almost forgotten that the evil one is always around. Yes, My Lord and I thank you too, I was just not paying attention to you while I wrote while I prayed. Dear Jesus there is no wonder why the prayer came slowly and complicated, it did not flow right, it never sounded right, it did not come from you, It was my mind praying for this foul, evil joint to open its doors. my mistake Lord, it will not happen again.
People may say, my Dear Jesus, Cesar has finally lost it, his computer chip crashed and his mind is rambling. There is nothing wrong with bars, there is nothing wrong with a couple of drinks to relax and enjoy other people's company. Bars do not make people act strangely or violently or nothing to that matter. I saiid that is true, a bar is a phisical place, much like a restaurant or even your house, it is the alcohol that pushes people over the edge, it is the darkness, the evil the bad feelings that lurk in bars that push you over the edge. Yes you may come into one just to enjoy a glass of wine with a friened, to chat and laugh a little, an innocent meeting but inside you find many people who are lonely, sad, full of problems and resentments and one thing may lead to another and soon bullets are flying and punches are breaking jaws and mayham takes over. es the devil is like that, he is very sneaky and he knows when, where and whom he can touch to destroy that person and those around that person.
Yes my friends, my Lord the devil and his friends are real, they live every where, look over your shoulder right now, there is a demon waiting for you to relax your defense to jump in and hurt you. To get into your head and make you doubt your Lord, to make you doubt your actions your faith. Yes even the stroongest have fallen before his devious ways, great ministers and pastors of the church have fallen never to rise again. We are small fry to him, we are easy targets, a few unpaid bills, a little hunger and sadness and we are ready to tip the balance his way. Yes we are, we are weak, we are human. This is why we must always be alert, why we must always have God, Jesus in our minds, why we must pray permanently and constantly so the devil knows that we are prepared for anything he wants to drop on us. I know him, I have met him, I have lived with him close and personal, I have met him in lonely river banks and cross roads in the middle of the night. I have seen his evil power and his eyes.
He is trully frightening, even when you are working for him. My friends all his promises are lies, all he says are lies., all he does is lies. His purpose in life is to irritate God by messing with you. AAt the end of the day, he is satisfied with what HE GETS, you, you get nothing but hardship and pain. Yes this is true, he may promise you wealth and he may promise you power, believe me he will give it to you if you kneel before him and recognize him as your master. I know I have done it, I have been there, I have had that power, the wealth, the attention and the might that comes from being completely indiferent to pleoples pain, to peoples suffering and their needs. yes I have been there. Indiference to others needs and sufferings is what makes you powerful and unbeatable. This comes from him, the enemy, the dark one, the greedy selfish one. Do not believe that all you have to do is call to him and he will come, No he doesnt, he is not stupid either, in fact he is extremely smart and savvy, he will come if he believes there is something to win from enslaving you.
Once he comes and makes the deal, and yes you do make a deal with him, you will get what you want, I cant say what you need because this is not true. e creates the need in you, he makes you envy your friends, he makes you think you were like the beautiful movie star or the powerful executive, I tell you today YOU DO NOT NEED THESE THINGS, I KNOW, I HAD THEM ALL, and when I did they gave me nothing, I did not gain anything I was as unhappy as I was before he gave them to me, maybe even sadder still. Yes my friends, I stood in the middle of the night in dark cross roads and besides rolling streams, by myself, with parchments written in blood and goat skins and candles on strange pictures drawn on the dirt. And yes my friends I called to him, and I swallowed my fear and iit was covered underneath the ambition and the desire to become allmighty and ppowerfyul, and guess what ..... he came. And he kept his end of the bargain, I was rich, I was loved, I was powerful, I had all I wanted and believed I needed, I travelled, I had women, I had drugs, I had guns and fast cars, but I was empty, there was no feeling in me. I could watch my children laugh and enjoy their toys and their friends but I did not feel their happiness, i did not feel their love, their hugs and their good night kisses.
But what was done was done and they would grow to be good people because their mother would take care of it. I was doomed, I was dead, my eyes were empty of light, of hope and of warmth, I was dead, surrounded by dead people ready to do my will. I could see the life in children, in the maids who served me, thier struggle, their love for their families and their peers, me I just watched them go by, my heart was encased in steel, in concrete, never to feel again, never to love again. But MY LORD, MY BEAUTIFUL JESUS AND MASTER, you have always arrived in the knock of time, You my Jesus have always known exactly when it is time, You have always let me fly off to weherever I want until it is time to pull me back, to open my eyes, to beat the hell out of me back into reality and back into the real world, YOUR WORLD, MY LORD.
Victoria was born on a November afternoon, my baby, my life savior, was sent by you on a warm November afternoon. She was small and hairy, I had almost forgotten what babies look like as they show them selves for the first time in this world, your world Lord. es I was there delivering her, with my three children, we waited anxiously to see ehr. My hands were the first human hands that touched her Lord, for this was your will, this was your, thunderbolt, your shock. This brought me back to life, to reality, my Lord a child, given to us to educate and to love and bring to you. How could I do that ??? I wad irty, I was lost, what would I teach this child ?? How to sell drugs, how to take other drug dealers territories??? this was madness , this was wrong. we did not wat thi8s bay, our life was great and organized. Isabella our youngest was eleven, FFernando was finishing high school and cesar was in college, we were free, our duty with parentiung was done. We had giiven the world three beautiful educated loving children, what else would the world want from us ?? YOU DID NOT WANT ANYTHING MORE LORD, YOU SIMPLY WERE NOT DONE WITH WHAT YOU STARTED. Here I was with this bloody, dirty child in my arms, looking at my wife and asking her if she was okay. Making sure all was well with her before I gave this new child my attention. For some reason Lord, you have made me love this woman more than myself, you have made me cherish her and worry about her more than I should. I can recall the births of all my children and I always asked about her health, her wellbeing before I even looked at the fruits of our love. I do not know if this is normal Lord, but this is what you have made me do.
Once I knew my wife, my Victoria was welll, I turned my attention to small Victoria, so small and fragile, completely dependent, and I felt Lord, i felt that it was you sending a message, it was you saying that I was not lost, it was you askingMy Lord, begging for me to come to you. It was you My Lord Jesus crying tears of blood knowing full well that You could not bring me back, knowing full well that I had to come back to you on my own. We took my Viictoria's home three days later, we had a huge party, booze, food, music everything that money could buy was there, every thin and every obne except you My Lord, My Master, You were not welcome ...not yet. Victoria was a different child, she was not like the others , she appeared not to be happy. She was nervous and she was never quiet for a minuet, I remember theothers lying in bed abnd staring up to the cealing and smiling, and talking to their gusrdian angels watching over them. Victoria did not do this, in fact several times she would suddenlñy start crying desperately out of nowhere, out of the blue.
I did not think anything about this and brought her to the doctor so she was checked in case somethig hurt or whatever, She was fine and we took her home. A couple of days later my mother in law was carrying her walking a couple of steps ahead of me. Suddenly I saw a sort of shadow darting awat from me , I saw it in the corner of my eye , it could have been nothin, just a reflex, but Victoria looked the same way and screamed with terror, she screamed lke she had seen the devil himself and then I understood what was different with her, why she did not laugh and talk with her angel why she was jumpy. In her innocence and her open heart she could see the evil ones lurking in our home, my other children grew up in a home where God had been loved and welcome. This homwe belonged to the darkness and she was able to see it, feel it and live with it. Yes my dear friends every act, every action we take has a consequence, a reaction sometime later on, maybe not to us but to someone. My stupidity and greed, were affecting all of us, our houyse was a den of theives, of evil and pain.
I talked with a priest who is a dear friend and has been for many many years, in fact he wass my grand mothers confessor, way back then. I thought he would laugh when I told him what was going on, what I had done, I wasn't even sure if all that had happened dutring those years was not a figment of my imagination. Well, he did not laugh, in fact I belive the people living close to his church still remember the afternoon when this otherwise nice and quiet man of God, lost it completely. He screamed, he cursed me, he said things that me must still be confessing to God beciuase he could not confess them to a fellow priest. Yes the ------ hit the fan and it spread all over. QA spercial ceremony was called, I sat in the middle of a prayer circle, powerful prayers were said, prayers I had never heard,tongues I had never heard, there was electricity in the air, I could feel the air about me and then I spoke, all I said was a word, a name, which I may never repeat or remember. The voice that came from my mouth was not mine, it came from the darkness, it was deep and low, full of pain and hurt, full of the pain and hutr of the millions suffering in hell where he reigns, where he wants all of us to go. Yes I was scared, I was scared from here to every where, this was not part of the deal, I realized I was watching, no not watching, I was the object of a tug of war, light and darkness were fighting for me, for my soul for my life.
Thank you My Lord because of your patience, of your love , of your care, only You, My Lord woulñd have come back for me, I was lost, I was gone, only you saw something in me, something that made you pity me and come back to save me. My Lord I kneeled before you i front of those men and women of faith, REAL FAITH, REAL WARRIORS, men and women who stand before the pits of hell and challenge the beasts in them to come out and fight, that challenge them to leave you and go back into the darkness. I was marvellled I was strcuk deeply by the power, by the security with which they spoke and they yielded their swords before the dark one and his crowd, their swords, nothing more than prayer, es they did not have holy water or crosses or anything that you see in the movies. THEY HAD THE LOVE OF CHRIUST, THE BLOOD OF CHRIST IN THEIR HEARTS AND SOULS. This is how I was saved and I came back to life, and my Victoria is growing into a God loving child, whop sites the scriptures and prays every night and after many years of repenmtance and helaing II am able to love again and I am able to feel compassion and crae for otherss. Yes My Friends I imagiune that every time I write something you are surprised and wonder what will come next. WQell I do not know it is HE who writes through me, it is He who speaks throguh me, it is HE who let me go through all these experiences, t hrough all the pain and sorrow so I could stand before you today and PRAISE AND GLORIFY HIM WITH ALL MY HEART. Yes, my friends I have been there and back, it is his will not mine., My life is his , and yoiurs, not mine. Beware for the sneaky one is right behind you, keep your eyes open and do not let yoour guard down. I did it this morning and the memories came piling back, obnly there is no more fear, GOD RULES IN MY HEART AND IN MY HOME, the sneaky one knows it, HE KNOWS HE HAS BEEN DEFEATED, and there is no room for him around me. Thank you Jesus in you we trust.
People may say, my Dear Jesus, Cesar has finally lost it, his computer chip crashed and his mind is rambling. There is nothing wrong with bars, there is nothing wrong with a couple of drinks to relax and enjoy other people's company. Bars do not make people act strangely or violently or nothing to that matter. I saiid that is true, a bar is a phisical place, much like a restaurant or even your house, it is the alcohol that pushes people over the edge, it is the darkness, the evil the bad feelings that lurk in bars that push you over the edge. Yes you may come into one just to enjoy a glass of wine with a friened, to chat and laugh a little, an innocent meeting but inside you find many people who are lonely, sad, full of problems and resentments and one thing may lead to another and soon bullets are flying and punches are breaking jaws and mayham takes over. es the devil is like that, he is very sneaky and he knows when, where and whom he can touch to destroy that person and those around that person.
Yes my friends, my Lord the devil and his friends are real, they live every where, look over your shoulder right now, there is a demon waiting for you to relax your defense to jump in and hurt you. To get into your head and make you doubt your Lord, to make you doubt your actions your faith. Yes even the stroongest have fallen before his devious ways, great ministers and pastors of the church have fallen never to rise again. We are small fry to him, we are easy targets, a few unpaid bills, a little hunger and sadness and we are ready to tip the balance his way. Yes we are, we are weak, we are human. This is why we must always be alert, why we must always have God, Jesus in our minds, why we must pray permanently and constantly so the devil knows that we are prepared for anything he wants to drop on us. I know him, I have met him, I have lived with him close and personal, I have met him in lonely river banks and cross roads in the middle of the night. I have seen his evil power and his eyes.
He is trully frightening, even when you are working for him. My friends all his promises are lies, all he says are lies., all he does is lies. His purpose in life is to irritate God by messing with you. AAt the end of the day, he is satisfied with what HE GETS, you, you get nothing but hardship and pain. Yes this is true, he may promise you wealth and he may promise you power, believe me he will give it to you if you kneel before him and recognize him as your master. I know I have done it, I have been there, I have had that power, the wealth, the attention and the might that comes from being completely indiferent to pleoples pain, to peoples suffering and their needs. yes I have been there. Indiference to others needs and sufferings is what makes you powerful and unbeatable. This comes from him, the enemy, the dark one, the greedy selfish one. Do not believe that all you have to do is call to him and he will come, No he doesnt, he is not stupid either, in fact he is extremely smart and savvy, he will come if he believes there is something to win from enslaving you.
Once he comes and makes the deal, and yes you do make a deal with him, you will get what you want, I cant say what you need because this is not true. e creates the need in you, he makes you envy your friends, he makes you think you were like the beautiful movie star or the powerful executive, I tell you today YOU DO NOT NEED THESE THINGS, I KNOW, I HAD THEM ALL, and when I did they gave me nothing, I did not gain anything I was as unhappy as I was before he gave them to me, maybe even sadder still. Yes my friends, I stood in the middle of the night in dark cross roads and besides rolling streams, by myself, with parchments written in blood and goat skins and candles on strange pictures drawn on the dirt. And yes my friends I called to him, and I swallowed my fear and iit was covered underneath the ambition and the desire to become allmighty and ppowerfyul, and guess what ..... he came. And he kept his end of the bargain, I was rich, I was loved, I was powerful, I had all I wanted and believed I needed, I travelled, I had women, I had drugs, I had guns and fast cars, but I was empty, there was no feeling in me. I could watch my children laugh and enjoy their toys and their friends but I did not feel their happiness, i did not feel their love, their hugs and their good night kisses.
But what was done was done and they would grow to be good people because their mother would take care of it. I was doomed, I was dead, my eyes were empty of light, of hope and of warmth, I was dead, surrounded by dead people ready to do my will. I could see the life in children, in the maids who served me, thier struggle, their love for their families and their peers, me I just watched them go by, my heart was encased in steel, in concrete, never to feel again, never to love again. But MY LORD, MY BEAUTIFUL JESUS AND MASTER, you have always arrived in the knock of time, You my Jesus have always known exactly when it is time, You have always let me fly off to weherever I want until it is time to pull me back, to open my eyes, to beat the hell out of me back into reality and back into the real world, YOUR WORLD, MY LORD.
Victoria was born on a November afternoon, my baby, my life savior, was sent by you on a warm November afternoon. She was small and hairy, I had almost forgotten what babies look like as they show them selves for the first time in this world, your world Lord. es I was there delivering her, with my three children, we waited anxiously to see ehr. My hands were the first human hands that touched her Lord, for this was your will, this was your, thunderbolt, your shock. This brought me back to life, to reality, my Lord a child, given to us to educate and to love and bring to you. How could I do that ??? I wad irty, I was lost, what would I teach this child ?? How to sell drugs, how to take other drug dealers territories??? this was madness , this was wrong. we did not wat thi8s bay, our life was great and organized. Isabella our youngest was eleven, FFernando was finishing high school and cesar was in college, we were free, our duty with parentiung was done. We had giiven the world three beautiful educated loving children, what else would the world want from us ?? YOU DID NOT WANT ANYTHING MORE LORD, YOU SIMPLY WERE NOT DONE WITH WHAT YOU STARTED. Here I was with this bloody, dirty child in my arms, looking at my wife and asking her if she was okay. Making sure all was well with her before I gave this new child my attention. For some reason Lord, you have made me love this woman more than myself, you have made me cherish her and worry about her more than I should. I can recall the births of all my children and I always asked about her health, her wellbeing before I even looked at the fruits of our love. I do not know if this is normal Lord, but this is what you have made me do.
Once I knew my wife, my Victoria was welll, I turned my attention to small Victoria, so small and fragile, completely dependent, and I felt Lord, i felt that it was you sending a message, it was you saying that I was not lost, it was you askingMy Lord, begging for me to come to you. It was you My Lord Jesus crying tears of blood knowing full well that You could not bring me back, knowing full well that I had to come back to you on my own. We took my Viictoria's home three days later, we had a huge party, booze, food, music everything that money could buy was there, every thin and every obne except you My Lord, My Master, You were not welcome ...not yet. Victoria was a different child, she was not like the others , she appeared not to be happy. She was nervous and she was never quiet for a minuet, I remember theothers lying in bed abnd staring up to the cealing and smiling, and talking to their gusrdian angels watching over them. Victoria did not do this, in fact several times she would suddenlñy start crying desperately out of nowhere, out of the blue.
I did not think anything about this and brought her to the doctor so she was checked in case somethig hurt or whatever, She was fine and we took her home. A couple of days later my mother in law was carrying her walking a couple of steps ahead of me. Suddenly I saw a sort of shadow darting awat from me , I saw it in the corner of my eye , it could have been nothin, just a reflex, but Victoria looked the same way and screamed with terror, she screamed lke she had seen the devil himself and then I understood what was different with her, why she did not laugh and talk with her angel why she was jumpy. In her innocence and her open heart she could see the evil ones lurking in our home, my other children grew up in a home where God had been loved and welcome. This homwe belonged to the darkness and she was able to see it, feel it and live with it. Yes my dear friends every act, every action we take has a consequence, a reaction sometime later on, maybe not to us but to someone. My stupidity and greed, were affecting all of us, our houyse was a den of theives, of evil and pain.
I talked with a priest who is a dear friend and has been for many many years, in fact he wass my grand mothers confessor, way back then. I thought he would laugh when I told him what was going on, what I had done, I wasn't even sure if all that had happened dutring those years was not a figment of my imagination. Well, he did not laugh, in fact I belive the people living close to his church still remember the afternoon when this otherwise nice and quiet man of God, lost it completely. He screamed, he cursed me, he said things that me must still be confessing to God beciuase he could not confess them to a fellow priest. Yes the ------ hit the fan and it spread all over. QA spercial ceremony was called, I sat in the middle of a prayer circle, powerful prayers were said, prayers I had never heard,tongues I had never heard, there was electricity in the air, I could feel the air about me and then I spoke, all I said was a word, a name, which I may never repeat or remember. The voice that came from my mouth was not mine, it came from the darkness, it was deep and low, full of pain and hurt, full of the pain and hutr of the millions suffering in hell where he reigns, where he wants all of us to go. Yes I was scared, I was scared from here to every where, this was not part of the deal, I realized I was watching, no not watching, I was the object of a tug of war, light and darkness were fighting for me, for my soul for my life.
Thank you My Lord because of your patience, of your love , of your care, only You, My Lord woulñd have come back for me, I was lost, I was gone, only you saw something in me, something that made you pity me and come back to save me. My Lord I kneeled before you i front of those men and women of faith, REAL FAITH, REAL WARRIORS, men and women who stand before the pits of hell and challenge the beasts in them to come out and fight, that challenge them to leave you and go back into the darkness. I was marvellled I was strcuk deeply by the power, by the security with which they spoke and they yielded their swords before the dark one and his crowd, their swords, nothing more than prayer, es they did not have holy water or crosses or anything that you see in the movies. THEY HAD THE LOVE OF CHRIUST, THE BLOOD OF CHRIST IN THEIR HEARTS AND SOULS. This is how I was saved and I came back to life, and my Victoria is growing into a God loving child, whop sites the scriptures and prays every night and after many years of repenmtance and helaing II am able to love again and I am able to feel compassion and crae for otherss. Yes My Friends I imagiune that every time I write something you are surprised and wonder what will come next. WQell I do not know it is HE who writes through me, it is He who speaks throguh me, it is HE who let me go through all these experiences, t hrough all the pain and sorrow so I could stand before you today and PRAISE AND GLORIFY HIM WITH ALL MY HEART. Yes, my friends I have been there and back, it is his will not mine., My life is his , and yoiurs, not mine. Beware for the sneaky one is right behind you, keep your eyes open and do not let yoour guard down. I did it this morning and the memories came piling back, obnly there is no more fear, GOD RULES IN MY HEART AND IN MY HOME, the sneaky one knows it, HE KNOWS HE HAS BEEN DEFEATED, and there is no room for him around me. Thank you Jesus in you we trust.
