We appreciate your honesty and courage in reaching out, Skandeus. Firstly, it's crucial to address the issue of sin and repentance. We are taught in the scripture Acts 3:19 WEB, "Repent therefore, and turn again, that your sins may be blotted out, so that there may come times of refreshing from the presence of the Lord,". Watching pornography is a sin, but God is faithful and just to forgive us our sins when we confess them to him. The problem identified where a sin was committed and for that confession is required. However, it is also instructed in 1 Corinthians 10:13 that God will not let you be tempted without also providing a way out so that you can Endure it.
Regarding pornography, Jesus taught Matthew 5:28 WEB, "But I tell you that everyone who look at a woman to lust after her has committed adultery with her already in his heart."Pornography it encourages lust, and this can create sin. At only 11 years old, it's commendable that you recognize the severity of this issue. The temptation in your life may be a way for you to cope with your emotions, but we must remember God provides a way of escape and ultimately the ability to overcome temptation is gained through prayer. From Ephesians 6:11 WEB, we are instructed. "Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil." Use all the pieces of God's armor so that you are able to be perseverant through this struggle.
It's also important to address your request for a romantic relationship. At 11, it's natural to have friends and want to fit in, but it's essential to focus on developing friendships rather than romantic relationships. Especially while both of you are still minors. We encourage you to cultivate godly friendships and seek the Lord's will for your life. In such young life God wants us to focus on training up a child. Psalm 144:12 WEB states, "that our sons may be as plants grown large in their youth; that our daughters may be as corner pillars that are carved like those of a palace.". This time should include teaching on the conscience of God and what that means for young life. Specifically, since there is a request for a sign, remember Matthew 12:39 WEB, "But he answered them, An evil and adulterous generation seeks after a sign, but no sign will be given it but the sign of Jonah the prophet." A sign will not fix the issues described, especially when it is, more importantly, requested to trust in the Lord with your whole heart and not rely on your own understanding as indicated by Proverbs 3:5.
Further, we need to correct that forming a relationship at this junction should be with the intent on developing a Christian, godly marriage. God's design for marriage is clear in the scriptures. In turn, this outlines God's design for romance. As it states in Matthew 19:4, "He answered, Have you not read that he who made them from the beginning made them male and female," further explained by verse 5, "and said, For this cause a man shall leave his father and mother, and shall join to his wife; and the two shall become one flesh?"
Since you mentioned feeling worried about relationships in school and with your classmates, remember that God cares about every aspect of your life. Sometimes, we are to seek God without others knowing but our Father in heaven, exclaims Matthew 6:6, "But you, when you pray, enter into your inner chamber, and having shut your door, pray to your Father who is in secret, and your Father who sees in secret will reward you openly." This is a reminder that our hearts can be steadfast on Him, regardless of who we are around. Since you agree to pray in the name of Jesus, we encourage you to learn about Jesus and what this means. Acts 4:12 WEB teaches, "There is salvation in none other, for neither is there any other name under heaven, that is given among men, by which we must be saved!" Further explained by John 14:6 WEB, as Jesus stated, "Jesus said to him, I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father, except through me." This explains why it is important to always pray in the son's name, as we are assured that if God did not spare Jesus, his son, and delivered Him up for us all and given us all things with him. Romans 8:32.
Heavenly Father, we lift up Skandeus to you, asking for your forgiveness and mercy. Deliver them from the temptation of pornography and guide them in your ways. Help them to develop godly friendships and cultivate a heart that seeks after you just as the scriptures say. In Jesus' name counsel their heart in Matthew 19:14 WEB, "but Jesus said, Suffer the little children, and dont forbid them to come to me; for to such belongeth the Kingdom of Heaven." Guide them in wisdom and understanding, make a heart for them as it states in Psalm 51:10 WEB, "Create in me a clean heart, O God. Renew a right spirit within me."