Aruolpoanvor
Disciple of Prayer
Please forgive me; I made a terrible mistake. I was driving home at night when I stopped in front of a railroad crossing because of the red lights flashing. I thought I was still in front of the train tracks and the bar. I didn't realize that technically, I was in the way of the railroad. I only drove out of there before the bar came down on me because my dad told me to. I do feel guilty about this. I do. This has never happened before; normally I always stop right before the train tracks! I had to beg my dad not to tell my mom, or else she'd go crazy at me for weeks! I wish Jesus died for my future sins after I became a Christian. I'm sick and tired of someone yelling at me or losing cool at me. Throughout my whole life, I feel like I never get to develop remorse for my actions or understand what I did was wrong or make amends becaus someone is always giving me a hard time about it by besmirching my character. People have said a lot of hurtful things at me that make my problems a lot worse than it was and impossible to fix. ("You are a danger to society!" or "You're every parent's nightmare!" or "I can't be watching ten kids all by myself!" or "Why didn't you stop him from biting another kid? You were right there!") You don't know what it's like to have someone be mad at you for a whole week all because you overspent your expenses on food and gaming. You don't know what it is like to have someone be angry at you for a month or two all because you gave 2,000 dollars to an internet friend on Instagram who turned out to be a scammer. (I had to report to the police about it!) You don't know what it is like to have someone be angry at you for a month all because while traveling in England, you got separated from your teacher and classmates and the teacher wanted to send you home! You don't know what it's like to have some teacher blame you over something that wasn't your fault all because of one lazy substitute teacher or one difficult kid that dominates the classroom. You don't know what it's like to have someone yell at you all because you got mad at your high school teacher for giving you an F over a missing assignment (Other teachers I had would have asked me "Where's your assignment?" before grading me-even college professors). Please pray for me that God will forgive me and give me a second chance. Please pray for God to grant me mercy and grace. Please ask God to tell people to be forgiving towards me and if they don't want to be my friend because they don't love me anymore, then tell me to get new friends.