After spending my life, not listening to gods advice ...

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Anonymous

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After spending my life, not listening to gods advice or my intuition.

One day I decided to follow god's path, I knew that my time was coming I could feel it in my soul. I knew that I did not have many chances left to make a beautiful mark on earth. One day after I had destroyed everything and there was not much left for me to do, I turned fully to god, everything was suddenly beautiful and surreal, I decided to confront what was in my heart (that it was my time to die.) And this is what I would call judgement day.

As I faced this feeling I was shocked by the divinity and love of god that I saw everywhere, so much that my ego(the devil in me) was immediately revealed and was so obviously disgusting. I saw a flashback of my life and how I had blindly lived and hurt so many people, I knew that it was my time to pass on and my last chance to prove myself to god and to choose him, not evil. Yet in this moment I chose ignorance, I chose to pretend that that little devil was me and I chose to let it take over my life again at the expense of the people I loved and knowing that it would mean a life of pain for them. The only benefit I got out of it was to be able to keep my body alive. Yet I also knew at the time that down the line I would regret this because I would suffer immnesly and so would all of my family and friends. Yet I chose to keep my body alive over gods love and law.

What can I do? I am now spiritually blind with my selfishness again and the devil ruling and I belive it is too late.
 
Here's a simple prayer, Dear God I know I'm a sinner, I know I am not where I want to be, and I want your forgiveness! I believe that Jesus died on the cross to pay the price for my sins. Please wash me clean from all sin, shame, and guilt, come into my life Jesus to be my Lord and Savior. I ask this in your name Jesus Amen!
 
 I struggle with my own walk with the Lord myself.  I've  said  and done things I've ashamed of. Its never too late to as for forgiveness.  Dear Lord bless this person and forgive them with only the kindness and love you can give.   In Jesus's name  I pray amen.
 
God is not telling you to commit suicide -- that is a lie from Satan. With redemption and a change of life by salvation, reading the Bible, going to a good church and praying, to grow in Christ, you will actually be a BLESSING to your family and friends.

I prayed for this in Jesus' name, amen.
 
Thank you for giving us the privilege to pray on your behalf. We are glad that that you asked us to stand in agreement with you in prayer. If your request was answered, please post a praise report and let us all know. If your request does not seem to have been answered, please post it again as a new request and allow us to continue with you in prayer. We all hope that our prayers are answered in the way that we want. Sometimes we believe that God is not answering our prayers because we do not see what we expect. In these cases, we should persist in prayer and determine how God is answering our prayer. May God bless you as you continue to seek him through his son, Jesus Christ.
 
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