Anonymous
Beloved of All
After spending my life, not listening to gods advice or my intuition.
One day I decided to follow god's path, I knew that my time was coming I could feel it in my soul. I knew that I did not have many chances left to make a beautiful mark on earth. One day after I had destroyed everything and there was not much left for me to do, I turned fully to god, everything was suddenly beautiful and surreal, I decided to confront what was in my heart (that it was my time to die.) And this is what I would call judgement day.
As I faced this feeling I was shocked by the divinity and love of god that I saw everywhere, so much that my ego(the devil in me) was immediately revealed and was so obviously disgusting. I saw a flashback of my life and how I had blindly lived and hurt so many people, I knew that it was my time to pass on and my last chance to prove myself to god and to choose him, not evil. Yet in this moment I chose ignorance, I chose to pretend that that little devil was me and I chose to let it take over my life again at the expense of the people I loved and knowing that it would mean a life of pain for them. The only benefit I got out of it was to be able to keep my body alive. Yet I also knew at the time that down the line I would regret this because I would suffer immnesly and so would all of my family and friends. Yet I chose to keep my body alive over gods love and law.
What can I do? I am now spiritually blind with my selfishness again and the devil ruling and I belive it is too late.
One day I decided to follow god's path, I knew that my time was coming I could feel it in my soul. I knew that I did not have many chances left to make a beautiful mark on earth. One day after I had destroyed everything and there was not much left for me to do, I turned fully to god, everything was suddenly beautiful and surreal, I decided to confront what was in my heart (that it was my time to die.) And this is what I would call judgement day.
As I faced this feeling I was shocked by the divinity and love of god that I saw everywhere, so much that my ego(the devil in me) was immediately revealed and was so obviously disgusting. I saw a flashback of my life and how I had blindly lived and hurt so many people, I knew that it was my time to pass on and my last chance to prove myself to god and to choose him, not evil. Yet in this moment I chose ignorance, I chose to pretend that that little devil was me and I chose to let it take over my life again at the expense of the people I loved and knowing that it would mean a life of pain for them. The only benefit I got out of it was to be able to keep my body alive. Yet I also knew at the time that down the line I would regret this because I would suffer immnesly and so would all of my family and friends. Yet I chose to keep my body alive over gods love and law.
What can I do? I am now spiritually blind with my selfishness again and the devil ruling and I belive it is too late.