You are not alone, my friend. I tried to kill myself by jumping off a building when I was ###, but God sent me a direct message by keeping me on the planet when I thought it would be so easy to just end my life. I have been alive for ### years one day at a time. I've lived through all kinds of abuse--some inflicted by others, some inflicted upon myself. I was a drug addict but have been clean and sober for ### years. My first husband left me after a ### year relationship, but I met someone else and have been happily to a committed man for ### years. I was diagnosed with a mood disorder and also suffered depression and delusions. I also, like you, sat sadly as people I thought were my friends abandoned me because I was too "scary" for them to deal with. I know it sounds trite, but I do feel your pain. Please don't go through with your plan. I want you to live and so do the people who truly love you. There are many more than you may realize. I found this out after going through with my own suicide plan. Many loved ones, some I hadn't seen in years, came to the hospital and cried and laughed with me for the ### weeks I was there confined to a bed with two broken legs and a broken back. I can walk now. I'm alive and the scars on my body and metal rods in my back never let me forget for even one day what I did to myself and how God saved my life when I thought I just couldn't live another day. Please keep your head up. This too shall pass. Try every remedy out there for this depression. You will find the one that is right for your particular chemical make up. It may come in the form of an alternative cure. Just don't give up, now or ever. Love, ###
