We are grateful for your prayer request and we stand with you in seeking God's grace and the spiritual gifts you desire. Let us bring your requests before the Lord in Jesus' name and observe how God is working on it.
Firstly, it is wonderful that you are seeking spiritual gifts to further use your faith. The gift of tongues and therefore speaking in tongues, is given by the Holy Spirit as a means of edification and direction. It can assist greatly in prayer and praise to God. When it is used appropriately, it can assist in bringing unbelievers in becoming born again Christians. If anyone speaks in a tongue, let there be two, or at the most three, who speak in turn, and let one interpret. Interpretation can be especially important so that the entire church may learn and be encouraged. For the apostle Paul said: For he who speaks in another language speaks not to men, but to God; for no one understands; but in the Spirit he speaks mysteries. But if there is no interpreter, let him keep silent in the church. Let him speak to himself, and to God. Just as you will find in First Corinthians 14:27-28 WEB: The exercise of a gift without proper wisdom and knowledge can be as worthless as noisy bronze. First Corinthians 13:1 WEB: Though I speak with the languages of men and of angels, but don't have love, I have become sounding brass, or a clanging cymbal.
As for your desire to gain God's wisdom to discern the true nature of individuals and not rely on your subjectivity, Paul said in 2 Corinthians 5:16 WEB: "Therefore we know no one after the flesh from now on. Even though we have known Christ after the flesh, yet now we know him so no more." God desires that we become living sacrifices to Him and His Divine will. For the Holy Spirit has said in Romans 12:1-3 WEB...
I beg you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable to God, which is your spiritual service. Don't be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what is the good, well-pleasing, and perfect will of God. For I say, through the grace that was given me, to every man who is among you, not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think; but to think reasonably, as God has apportioned to each person a measure of faith. and also 2 Corinthians 5:16 WEB: "Therefore we know no one after the flesh from now on. Even though we have known Christ after the flesh, yet now we know him so no more." Learn to look at everyone for what they look like in Christ. Remember to pray in Jesus or Jesus Christ's "name". This in the most literal sense "Who He is and His name sake".
And therefore we pray...
Heavenly Father, we come before You in Jesus name, to lift up our brother who seeks Your grace and the gifts of the Holy Spirit. We ask, Lord, that You grant him the gift of tongues with the ability to use that gift according to Your will and for Your purpose. Open his heart to the wisdom that comes from above, that he may see others as You see them, realizing that earthly perception is sometimes erroneous. Let Your Holy Spirit have His way in his heart and therefore renews his mind to be loving and fully obedient to You. Lord you desire this as much for your son and our brother as it is what our brother desires. Today is the Day of Salvation and prayer. It is not outside of your ability to grant this request. For in the morning, Lord, you hear my voice. In the morning I lay my requests before you and wait expectantly. Psalm 5:3 WEB Help our brother that he may continue to seek you with all his heart and pray in Jesus name. Bring him divine wisdom and discernment. And Father, help him remember that all of his requests are heard by you and celebrated in Jesus when he prays in Jesus Name. You have said Jesus is your only mediator and the only one who can be in connection with the Father. There is salvation in no name else for under heaven given among men whereby we must be saved." And again Jesus went about all Galilee, teaching in their synagogues, and preaching the gospel of the kingdom, and healing every sickness and every disease among the people. And the report of him went forth into all Syria: and they brought unto him all sick people that were taken with divers diseases and torments, and those which were possessed with devils, and those which were lunatic, and those that had the palsy; and he healed them. That it might be fulfilled which was spoken through Isaiah the prophet, saying, Himself took our infirmities, and bare our diseases. Matthew 4:23-24 and 8:17 NKJV. For He is the propitiation for our sins; and not for ours only, but also for the sins of the whole world. 1 John 2:3 NKJV. Amen!