Hilasmeira
Humble Servant of All
A few months ago, I went through a period where I very strongly rebelled against what God was putting on my heart in regards to my life and the way that He wanted me to live. I was living with a very unforgiving heart. During this time, God gave me many clues that He wanted me to change but I was very stubborn. I was also very concerned because I felt that allowing myself to be forgiving would somehow make me vulnerable to being bullied or attacked. During this time, I really believe that I blasphemed against the Holy Spirit because I started to strongly reject the still, small voice that I could hear pushing me to change. I started to disregard this voice as the enemy. I'm very concerned about the effects that this decision had on my spiritual life as a Christian. I have realized how wrong I was to reject Jesus' teachings and the work that He was trying to do in my heart. Since that time, I have changed but I've been having these strange physical attacks that I think are related to the behavior that I showed during that time. I have been dealing with a strong metallic taste in my mouth that constantly follows me throughout the day. I have also been experiencing headaches and strong spiritual attacks. When these attacks start to become, it becomes difficult for me to think straight and I become susceptible to a lot of very demonic experiences. I should mention that before this happened, I was heavily involved in witchcraft, the occult and the new age. I believe that a lot of what I did/experienced in that lifestyle probably ties in to what is currently happening to me right now. I apologize for the length of this prayer request. Please pray for me.