uphill struggle

I am praying to God continuously for help everyday for my finances and health. Recently I was turned down for a loan I needed desperately at the time. Another lender came through(Thankful to God as it at least is something) however it wasn’t for much and the amount of the loan payment is too...

I don't think I can fear God anymore. I took it too far, I obsessed over it, I let (made) myself breakdown so many times, no matter how hard I try to commit to God, I always go back to the world. I can't put Him first, and now I don't trust even going near Him because of what's happened before...