two special needs kids

Struggling with my faith. I'm starting dive into paganism. I want God's blessings but God doesn't want to bless. We have two special needs kids. My wife struggles with mental health issues. I'm lost and broken. I'm tired of fighting and trying to make a better life and being abandoned.

I've recently had to come to terms with the fact that I'm in an abusive relationship. It wasn't always this way, but over the last couple of years since our two little ones were born, it's become very toxic. Both kids are special needs, so I was ok with quitting my job when they were born to...