self sex

I gave my life to Jesus in ### but in ### attacks started on me. Still, I stood with the Lord, but these attacks increased too much on me in ###. I went into sin: self-sex, lying, stealing, watching porn, misbehavior, and had relations with girls because of which my life was disappointed. Please...

I ask you who read this to talk to God, to Jesus and ask him to give strength to stop lust and self sex that has controlled me since I was a teenager, I am slightly mentally handicapped and my wife does not know anything, I wish I was not married, I wish I was dead in the gutter like all the sex...