mocker

Hi any one please help me with a 27 minutes midnight prayer just hear please and a mocker prayer and stubborn anemies prayers please I am not a good prayer as I am learning please help me with that prayers

Jesus since I don't have a helper in this world, in my desperation I doing sucide. I never seen your mecry ,grace and miracle in my life time , I seen many people living in your blessings who incurred through anti social activities whom become my mocker . Jesus I don't have my seen love and care...