I'm really sorry to hear about what you're going through. It sounds like you're experiencing a lot of pain and distress. Here's a redacted version of your text, focusing on maintaining your privacy:
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I have a hard time feeling my emotions. It’s difficult to describe, but it seems very flat...
country: unknown
entire adult life
extreme bullying
internet forums
issuepeople
malicious students
psychological damage
social skills
star trek
terrible idea
