consecrated life

I am a devoted Christian, I try to live a concencrated life for God, I am trying to force my self to always study the word of God (although I don't understand the word of God when I study, I am praying God will teach me his word, and give me retentive memory), with all of this, most of the times...

Love to enter my life guidance on where to locate him,loneliness feeling God is punishing me for whatever reason I get so sad &deprived when see couples together I've prayed living a consecrated life being celibate for over 20 yrs.what is the problem all I ve gotten was trials, tribulations I...