2 special needs children

My boyfriend, his ex wife and I were friends. Let’s call him J, her C and me D. She was unfaithful 86% of their marriage. She even tried to get me to sleep with him. The separated multiple times and she would come back when she didn’t have another boyfriend. She now has a boyfriend she’s been...

How many of us is afraid of leaving this earth, I am, I have 2 special needs children and I need to be here for them, they won’t know what it is to have a normal life and I just can’t not be here with them, I don’t want to leave this world, please someone help me understand, I love the lord I...